Jon Stolpe
Author Archives: Jon Stolpe

Book Review: Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date by Dennis Rainey

Last month, Leanne and I attended a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember event in Hershey, PA.  As you may recall from a few of my posts, this was a memorable and special weekend for us.  While we were there, we picked up several books to help us in our marriage and in our parenting.  One such resource was Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date (8 Steps To No Regrets) by FamilyLife co-founder and president Dennis Rainey.

Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date is a short book designed for father’s with daughters.  In this book, Rainey offers his perspective on how to approach the whole dating thing with your daughter and her potential dates.  Rainey recommends a process of interviewing each young man prior to permitting his daughter to go out with him.  This may sound old-fashioned and intimidating, but I think that Rainey is on to something.

Not only does this method protect the daughter from guy’s who might not match up with the family expectations for moral perspective, work ethic, and boundaries, Rainey’s interviewing process provides an opportunity to shape the lives of young men.  As part of the interview, Dennis Rainey asks each young man to use this method if and when their own daughter’s start to date.

Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date comes at a good time in my parenting path.  My daughter, Hannah, hasn’t started dating yet; however, at age 14, the whole dating thing isn’t too far off.  As a dad, I want to be prepared to protect my daughter and to help her find the right man.  Rainey’s book definitely gives me a lot to think about as I prepare for this time in my parenting journey.

I would recommend Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date to any parent with daughters.  You’ll find the book educational, encouraging, and thought-provoking.

When was your last interview?

Do you have any daughters?  If so, how have you handled the dating process or how do you plan to handle the dating process?

Book Review: Beyond Opinion (edited by Ravi Zacharias)

Beyond Opinion:  Living The Faith We Defend is a collection of writings on the subject of Christian Apologetics from the Ravi Zacharias think tank.  I picked up this book through the BookSneeze bloggers program over a year ago, and it’s taken me this long to get through the book and to jot down my thoughts.

Beyond Opinion is very deep.

I’ll be honest it’s not the type of book that I would normally pick up for “fun” reading.  The book dissects various challenges to the Christian faith and offers thoughts and ideas on how to approach our friends, neighbors, and co-workers who bring other religious perspectives and thinking to the table.  Beyond Opinion opens our minds to understand the thinking of those who don’t follow Christianity, and it provides some springboards for launching into worthwhile conversation with others.

Beyond Opinion is not an easy read; however, this book is an important work and resource for Christians who are serious about sharing their faith and about intelligently talking with non-Christians.  I’m sure I’ll come back to this book in year’s to come as a valuable resource in my library.

I would recommend Beyond Opinion if you’re up for the challenge of some deep thinking.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Ice Breaker – Songs On Your Playlist

It’s Friday!  How did it come around again so quickly?

Friday means Ice Breaker time here on The Stretched Blog.  In case you’re new here or you forgot, ice breakers are questions used to help us get to know each other a little bit better.  Each week, I ask a question which I answer first.  After that everyone else answers the question by posting their answer in the comments.

Without further delay, here’s this week’s question:  If you could make a playlist of your favorite songs, what five songs would make the list?

My answer:

1)  Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton

2)  Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas

3)  Where The Streets Have No Name by U2

4)  Love Is The Seventh Wave by Sting

5)  The Best Thing by Big Tent Revival

Each of these songs carries a memory of a time or place.  Leanne and I shared our first dance to Wonderful Tonight.  I remember listening to Sting’s song and playing hacky sack with my brother, Brian Willem, and Shane D’Entremont on the beach during a high school youth group camping trip.  And the Big Tent Revival song reminds me of Creation 97.  Leanne and I went to the music festival that year while she was five months pregnant with our daughter, Hannah.

Now it’s your turn.  What’s on your playlist?  I can’t wait to hear your answers!

Leap of Faith Continued (The Decision)

So I kind of left you hanging yesterday when I shared about my “big decision” and about my wrestling matching between my fears and my leap of faith.  I wanted to share today about my decision.

After a lot of thought and prayer, some pushing and prodding, and some great advice from a few trusted friends and family members, I’ve decided to join Hannah (my daughter) on a missions trip to Guatemala.  This summer, I will be joining our church’s high school missions team as they head to Guatemala to serve with A.I.M. (Adventures in Missions).  I don’t know all the details yet, but I know we’ll be there for eight days.

So why was this decision such a big deal to me?  After all, going on a missions trip with my daughter sounds like a great idea. Right?  Well, yes it does.  And lots of people take trips like this.  I know the trip will cost money, and I don’t know where that’s coming from yet, but I’m trusting that God will provide (I’m trying to figure out how to use The Stretched Blog and The Stretched Community to help).  My bigger worry is about leaving home for eight days.  You may remember that we had to cancel a planned trip to Kenya a couple of years ago due to some family health issues.  These health issues have improved dramatically, but I still carry some of the fear and anxiety of that time period.  This makes the decision more challenging for me.

As I was discussing my decision with a good friend a couple of days ago, he pointed out that I had faith that God would provide the financial resources to make the trip possible.  Shouldn’t I also have faith that God would take care of things at home while I was away?  This point really hit home for me.  And so I’m making this leap of faith to Guatemala – trusting that God will provide both financially and health-wise.

I’m excited to share more of this journey with The Stretched Community in the coming days, weeks, and months.  Stay tuned to keep up with this leap of faith.

How or where are you taking a leap of faith these days?  Have you ever been to Guatemala?

Leap of Faith

I’ve been wrestling with a decision for a while now.  The decision is a big deal for me.  I see so many reasons to go a certain direction with the decision, but I grapple with my own fears and anxiety that would keep me from going in that direction.

I’ve talked with a few people about the decision.  These are godly people whose wisdom and opinion I respect.  Each of them have encouraged me to put aside my fears and to take a leap of faith.

What is faith?

Faith is trusting in things we can’t see, in things we can’t control, and in power beyond us. Faith is about dreaming big.  Faith is believing that everything will be okay in the end even when we can’t see the way right in front of us.  Faith is being able to put aside our fears – or maybe to face our fears – and trust that God will take care of things.  Faith can help us break the paralysis of analysis inflicted by life’s anxieties.  Faith is more than just words – it’s followed by actions.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:1

As I was thinking about faith and about my decision, this clip from Indian Jones and The Last Crusade came to mind.  In the scene, Indiana Jones must get from one side of a chasm to the other side.  When he arrives at the edge, there’s no apparent way to get across.  Through his study of ancient literature and archaeology, Indiana Jones comes to the conclusion that the only way across the gaping pit is to take a step of faith.  This is exactly how I feel as I head into my decision.

Isn’t this a great clip?  You see, in life, we have decisions to make that require faith.  Which college should I go to and what should my major be?  Who should I marry?  Where should I live?  Where should I work?  Where should I go to church?  Should we have kids?  You get the idea.  Our lives are riddled with decisions that require faith.  We have to trust that as we step into the great unknown, God will catch us.  And that’s where I’m at with my decision.

Stay tuned for more details about my “big decision.”

What leap of faith do you need to take right now?  What’s holding you back?

Continue To Learn

Yesterday, I journeyed up to DeSales University for the PSPE Lehigh Valley Engineering Symposium in an effort to complete my continuing education requirements for my professional engineering license.  I took a couple of engineering ethics courses and two classes about construction project management and construction law.  The classes were okay considering the subject matter.  I’m looking forward to Wednesday when I’ll be taking courses that relate more directly to my work at Siemens.  These classes will include the following topics:  LEED and Green Building Standards, OSHA Compliance Regulations, Basic Thermal Design, Electricity for Non-Electrical Engineers, and Building Systems Commissioning.

This may sound fairly boring to many of my regular readers, but it’s an important part of staying fresh as an engineer.  Pennsylvania just enacted this continuing education requirement for engineers.  So I need these courses to keep my license, but I also need these courses to stay up to date as an engineer.

Just like continuing education is important to engineers, it’s also important for everyone.  We should make it our goal to keep on learning every day.  Whether you are an engineer, an accountant, a pastor, an IT expert, a mom, a dad, a husband, or a wife, it’s essential that you continue to learn.

Learning STRETCHES us.

Learning keeps us fresh.

Learning gives us new ideas for being the best we can be.

Learning helps us make the most of our God-given gifts and talents.

So keep learning, keep growing, keep STRETCHING!

What are you learning about these days?  How do you pursue continuing education?  What learning opportunities have STRETCHED you?

Resource Review: This Is Your Life Podcast

I’m a big fan of podcasts.

I listen to them in the car.  I listen to them on the treadmill.  I listen to them when I’m taking a walk.  And I listen to them while I’m running.

Here are a few of the podcasts that I listen to on a regular basis:  The Dave Ramsey Show Podcast, EntreLeadership Podcast, Daily Audio Bible Podcast, FamilyLife Today Podcast, and The RELEVANT Podcast.  I enjoy each of these podcasts as they keep me entertained and informed.  Podcasts are a great way to keep your brain growing.

Podcasting is definitely an up and coming form of communication.  There are new podcasts popping up every day.

Recently, a blogging friend of mine started his own podcast, and I think it’s worth sharing here.  Last month, Michael Hyatt launched his own podcast called This Is Your Life.  In his podcast, Michael offers practical advice for blogging, leading, and living.  So far, he has released three “issues” of This Is Your Life, and I have listened to each of them a few times.  With each listen I’ve absorbed new ideas for my own blog, my own leadership, and my own life.

So if you’re looking for a great podcast or if you need something to listen to for your next 30 minute car ride, I’d definitely recommend downloading This Is Your Life.

What podcast do you recommend?

Ice Breaker – Breakfast

This morning, I’m coordinating the third annual Sunnyside Up Breakfast Benefit at my office.  For the past three years, I have worked together with a few other co-workers at Siemens in Blue Bell, PA to make breakfast sandwiches with farm fresh eggs, bagels, cheese, and other add-on items.  We sell the made to order sandwiches at the office and donate all the proceeds to a charity connected to our employees.  This year, all the donations are going to the Warriors For Tim Foundation.  Warriors For Tim is an organization designed to raise organ donor awareness and to help families who are going through the organ donor process or who are on the waiting list for donated organ.  The organization was created to leave a legacy for Tim Raymond.  Tim passed away a couple of years ago after complications from the H1N1 virus (the swine flu) and an infection.  Tim’s dad, John, is a project manager in my department.  I’ve had the privilege of working with John for the past 16+ years.  It’s exciting to lift up John and his family through today’s breakfast.

(If you’re interested in learning more about Warriors For Tim or finding out how you can donate to the cause, click here.)

In honor of today’s breakfast benefit, this week’s ice breaker question is about breakfast.  As usual, I’ll answer the question, and then it’s your turn.  By sharing your answer to the question, you help the Stretched Community to grow as we get to know one another in a fun way.  So here goes….

Question:  What’s your favorite breakfast food?  If it’s cereal, what’s your favorite breakfast cereal?

My answer:  If I had my choice, I’d go with Swedish pancakes.  There’s nothing like the sweet flavor of the buttery and sugary thin pancakes with a mix of toppings.  Whenever I have Swedish pancakes, I think of my grandparents.  My Grandpa Stolpe had a system for eating his pancakes with different toppings.  Every so often, we make the pancakes at our house, and they’re a huge hit every time.

So there you have it.  Now it’s your turn.  Leave your answer in the comments.

Raising The Bar

Last night, our middle school parents small group talked about raising the bar.  Our discussion centered on our responsibility to teach godly values and principles in our homes.  We shared our concerns for the lack of boundaries and growing pressures to “lower the bar” that surround our kids as they’re bombarded by falling standards that exist all around them – especially in the media world of television, music, and internet.

During our conversation, two scriptures helped bring focus to our conversation.  In Deuteronomy 6:1-9, God instructs the Israelites to talk to their kids about God and God’s commands morning, noon, and night.

These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.  Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

There are so many great ways to live this out in our families.  Praying with your kids at bedtime is a great place to start.  Taking them to church where they can hear more about God is a wonderful next step.  Parents worry that they don’t have the biblical knowledge to spiritually lead their kids, but there are some great resources out there to help.  Our family is currently using Fuel: Devotions to Ignite the Faith of Parents and Teens (Focus on the Family Books), a devotional by Joe White.  As we wrap up dinner together, we take turns reading from this book.  This gives us a time to talk about God’s Word and how it applies to our lives.  Finally, I would recommend leaning into other parents.  Being part of a small group like ours is a big help.  This group often acts as a sounding board for parents as we strive to become better parents while dealing with the joys and challenges of parenting.  It’s also a great idea to find parents who can be your example – perhaps they’re a few steps ahead of you in the parenting journal.

The second scripture that we talked about in our group came from Paul’s letter to the Colossians.  In this passage, Paul instructs readers to put off the “old” things that represented our lives before knowing Christ, and he teaches us to focus on “new” things that point us in the right direction.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.  Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.  But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.  Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

As we talked about this scripture, we were all challenged to consider our role in helping our kids to live this out in light of the media that could come into our homes.  We were encouraged to post these words at our computers and by our TV remotes as a reminder to raise the bar on the things that enter our minds.

How do you raise the bar for your family?

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