Borrowed Beauty
Later this year, I will hit a milestone birthday – the big 4-0! Honestly, I don’t think I’ve thought about it too much. Although maybe I’m giving myself too much credit. After all, my blog post today is starting with this thought.
At any rate, something happened last night that made me feel old. Many of you know my daughter, Hannah, or have an idea of who she is thanks to my blog. Next month, she will turn 14. This is part of my aging process. It seems like yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital in her car seat and sweater outfit that Grammy made for her. Well, she’s not a baby any more. My Sweetie is turning into quite a beautiful and caring young lady.
Yesterday as part of her Columbus Day holiday, she went Halloween costume shopping with Leanne at our local Goodwill store. She came home with this beautiful red evening gown that she purchased for $20 with her own money. After dinner last night, she tried in on for me. Wow! How did we go from a baby sweater to a flowing red gown so fast? As I hugged Hannah and commented on her beauty, I asked her not to grow up so fast. She smiled as if to say, “I can’t help it, and I’m proud of who I’m becoming.”
I’m proud of her as well. As Leanne and I were talking about Hannah later last night, Leanne reminded me that Hannah is really on loan from God. God gave us Hannah and Isaac to nurture and support for a little while, but they were never fully ours from the beginning. They belong to God. I’m so thankful for the chance to borrow these two amazing kids. And yes, I will cherish each moment and day I get to spend with them.
How do you look at your kids?
What’s something you are borrowing that will one day need to be returned?
Magic Boy and Super Sitter
It’s hard to believe how quickly our kids grow. This picture was taken the first day of school (this year), and I think they’ve grown another few inches since then. A couple of weeks ago, we took the kids with us to visit Grove City College for Homecoming and Leanne’s 15th Class Reunion. Leanne and I felt especially “older” as our kids were clearly the oldest kids among Leanne’s classmates.
One of the cool things about our visit was how our friends’ kids were attracted to our kids. When we were walking over to line up for the parade, one of our friends’ kids ran up to Isaac and said, “Hey Magic Boy, do a magic trick!” And he was completely serious. He had been to our home a month or two prior to homecoming and remembered Isaac doing magic tricks for the kids. Leanne and I often remark to each other how much of a performer our son can be. He loves to put on shows for people. He is the first to jump on the piano or to take out his trumpet when guests come over. We sometimes wonder what Isaac will do when he grows up. Perhaps, he’ll be the ring master for a circus, a musician, or a preacher or worship leader. It’s fun to imagine as we watch our son bloom.
At Grove City, most of the kids were attracted to Hannah. And many of the parents were putting bids on Hannah to come to their homes over the summer to watch their kids. Hannah is a leader and a care-giver. She knows how to take charge and how to have compassion. She had the opportunity to hold a baby, and it was fun to watch her as the baby fell asleep in her arms. She also was the leader for the preschoolers and elementary kids as they made up games and did crafts together. Leanne and I often say that Hannah will have an interesting future. Will she be a teacher, a missionary, a mom, or president of some organization? Like her brother, it’s fun to watch as our daughter matures and becomes a young lady.
As we watch our kids grow, we have come to know and realize that time goes so quickly. Each moment is precious as they fly by before our eyes. It’s for this reason that I often say that Paul’s call in Colossians to “make the most of every opportunity” was about sharing our faith, but it’s also a great reminder to take advantage of the time we have with our kids. Walking around Grove City College a couple of weeks ago with our kids was a huge reminder that our kids will be venturing to college before we know it. We need to make the most of these days we have with “Magic Boy” and “Super Sitter.”
What characteristics and gifts to you see developing in your children? What are you doing to make the most of the opportunities you have with your children?
My Dad
Today is my dad’s birthday. If you happen to be friends with him on Facebook, hop on over and wish him a happy birthday. Or leave him a comment on his blog. I introduced him here on my blog this summer, when he shared a guest post about God In The Spaces. As I stated in the introduction to his post, I owe so much of who I am including my writing to him. He’s been writing for as long as I know, and I suspect he was probably writing as soon as he could hold a pen or a pencil – I’ll have to ask my grandma.
At any rate, I wanted to post today to reflect on some memories I have of my dad. I think it’s important to reflect on these things from time to time. So here are my thoughts:
1. My dad is one of the smartest people I know. Seriously, he has read so much, and he retains what he reads. My friends at our church growing up used to refer to him as Cliff Claven (from Cheers), because dad was always sharing some little known fact about something. I know my family (especially my brothers) joke around about this, but I think it’s more out of envy and appreciation than anything else.
2. My dad is a lot stronger than most people realize. He used to workout bench pressing more than 300 pounds. His hobby in college was cliff climbing. I smile as I remember the time that he lifted one of our youth group teenagers off the ground when this teen tried to sneak up on my dad from behind. That kid never messed with my dad again. And the rest of the youth group talked about “Norm’s strength” for years.
3. My dad isn’t perfect. Despite being a pastor and very close to God (that’s another thing I’ll share in a few seconds), my dad is human. I chuckle as I think about the holes in doors and walls that he created himself as he chased one of my brothers down the hall or banged his head in frustration. I also think about the game of National Geographic Global Pursuit that ended when my brother, my grandpa, and my dad show-off the family stubbornness in questioning a move. I’m not sure we ever played that game afterwards.
4. My dad is intentional. I especially think of all the times when dad stops us in our tracks to make sure we understand what’s going on in a particular moment or situation. He says, “I want to stop and remember this moment, this milestone. This is important.” He does this whenever we are together. When my brother, Erik, graduated from college, I can remember him stopping to celebrate and to thank God for this milestone. When my family got together to celebrate my grandparents anniversary, I remember him stopping to make sure we captured the moment that we were all together for one last time. On mission trips and youth retreats as a teenager, I remember dad gathering us together at the end of the week or weekend to reflect on what God just did through the trip or retreat. In some ways, this is one of the main reasons I blog. I want to create a record of the things in my life; I don’t want to forget how God has worked through the ups and downs of my daily life.
5. My dad is very close to God. As I mentioned earlier, my dad takes his relationship with God very seriously. I admire my dad’s dedication, commitment, and example. He spends time regularly praying, meditating, memorizing, and thinking about God. I’m convinced that his number one passion is to follow Jesus and to be close to Him. This pours from everything my dad does and says.
I’m sure I could go on, but I’ll stop for now. I just wanted to reflect and share about my dad today as he celebrates his birthday.
Dad, thanks for being such a great example to me and others. Thanks for being you! Happy Birthday! I love you!
How do you remember your parents? For those of you who know my dad, feel free to comment with your own thought or memory of him.
The Birds and The Bees – Talking to Your Kids About Sex
I was blessed as a kid with parents who spoke clearly and appropriately about sex. The summer before I went into sixth grade, I remember my dad taking me camping to Lake Atsion. It was here that we spent time camping and cooking. And it was here that my dad gave me “the talk” about sex. I’m sure it was somewhat awkward for both of us, but this was clearly an important conversation.
From what I’ve heard, most kids don’t learn about the birds and the bees from this type of candid discussion from their parents. Most kids learn from their peers, from pornographic magazines and websites, and from experimentation.
Leanne and I decided early on in our parenting that we didn’t want our kids learn first about sex from others. Several years ago at a Family Life Marriage Conference, we picked up a four book series called “God’s Design for Sex.” Each book is written for a different age group to give parents the tools to talk to their kids about sex with age appropriate material. Leanne read through these books with Hannah already, and I’ve been reading the books with our son. As Isaac is in the first weeks of sixth grade, we are finishing up the third book in the series. There’s been a little awkwardness as we’ve talked about things like periods, AIDS, and about some of the “mechanics” of sex. (I’m an engineer, I couldn’t help it.) But our conversation has also been good.
I’m thankful for the example of my parents, for helpful tools like these books, and for the chance to teach our kids about a subject that matters.
How did you learn about sex? How have you handled this subject with your own kids?
That’s My Boy
This is a big year for Isaac. In less than one week, he will start middle school. He’ll tell you that he’s excited and a little bit nervous. If you ask me, I’m excited and shocked at how quickly we have reached this milestone. It seems like weeks ago that we were welcoming Isaac home from the hospital. I can still hear his sister, Hannah, saying, “It’s Baby Isaac!” in her high-pitched toddler voice as we introduced her to her new baby brother. It seems like several days ago that we were taking Isaac to preschool for the first time with his friends Julia and Grace. I can still see Isaac dressed up like a farmer for Halloween one year with his big smile and straw hat. It seems like yesterday that we were sending Isaac off to school on the bus for his first day of kindergarten. I can still remember his excitement as he finally got to ride the bus with Hannah and all the other kids.
Isaac is a special kid. He’s funny – in fact, I think he’s inherited the “Stolpe” sense of humor that came down from his Great Grandpa (Far-Far) Stolpe. He’s smart – more so than I think he realizes at times. He’s musically talented beyond his years. He’s kind. He’s compassionate. And he has an amazing faith.
As I look ahead, I’m realizing that my time of influence is narrowing. I want to make the most of the time I have with my kids before they head off into the real world which will be here before I know it. Some of this involves being more intentional with our day-to-day conversations. And it also means being more intentional when it comes to planning memorable things like vacations and other family outings. And for me, it means stopping more often to just enjoy my kids. I love to watch them. I love to be with them. And I am excited to see them growing up. I just wish it didn’t happen so quickly!
How are your being intentional in your parenting? What has surprised you the most about parenting?
Locks of Love
The generous heart of my daughter never ceases to amaze me. As you can see by the pictures, Hannah decided several months ago to grow her hair out, so she could donate to Locks of Love. Locks of Love provides wigs for children who are facing hair loss for various reasons. Hair is a big deal for girls, women, and kids. So when Hannah decided to have her hair cut so someone else could enjoy a head of hair, it was quite a sacrifice – at least in my mind.
It makes me think about true sacrifice. I am so often caught up in my own self interest. I don’t put others first. I’m thinking of me – instead of thinking of others. I often fall short when it comes to true sacrifice.
Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) Jesus is the ultimate example of true sacrifice. He who was without sin laid down his life on the cross for us that we might be saved.
I’m thankful for Hannah’s example, it reminds me of Christ. It reminds me that I need to be sacrificial if I’m going to be a Christ follower. Thanks, Sweetie!
What does it really mean to make a sacrifice for someone? When was the last time you really sacrificed something for someone?
Keep Going
I took this picture on our Cape Cod vacation a couple of weeks ago. It’s a boardwalk that takes you out to the edge of the marsh from Grey’s Beach in Yarmouth Port, MA. I ran out to the end of the boardwalk three of the mornings we were there.
In the picture, it appears that the boardwalk goes on forever.
Some days, things can seem like this. We have a tough day at work. Our parenting doesn’t seem to be making any head way with our kids. Perhaps, we’re facing health issues that seem unbearable.
The Bible provides encouragement to keep going when we’re ready to give up. I often draw encouragement from these verses:
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13,14
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
One of the last day’s that we were in Cape Cod, I took Leanne out to the end of the boardwalk to enjoy the walk and view together. The long walk was well worth it!
What are you facing today that seems like it could go on forever – that seems overwhelming or unbearable? What keeps you going?
Stretch Starts Tomorrow!!!
[vimeo http://vimeo.com/13617196]Middle school (or junior high) can be an awkward time in life. The girls are growing way faster than most of the guys. Kids are trying to figure out how they work and where they fit in. They don’t get the attention of elementary aged children, and they’re not big shot high school teenagers.
Tomorrow night, I’ll be volunteering at a FREE three night camp designed just for middle school students. The camp is called Stretch (Yes, they used my nickname without consulting with me, but I’m okay with it.) I have participated as a volunteer for this event since it started several years ago. And this year is extra special as Leanne and I now have two kids who will be in middle school this fall. If you live in the area and you know someone who is going into sixth through eighth grade, plan on bringing them to three unbelievable nights.
The night is designed for kids this age. Here are some of the things that will happen there:
– Laser Tag
– Video Games
– Basketball
– Dodgeball
– Karaoke
– Amusement Ride – I call it the puke machine
– All kinds of food (pizza, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, soda, cotton candy, etc.)
– Stage Games
– Slip and Slide
– Volleyball
– Inflatable
– Music
– Great Speakers
If any of this sounds like fun, you don’t want to miss Stretch Uncut 2011.
Wednesday, July 27 – Friday, July 29, 2011
6:30PM – 10:00PM (Friday night until 11:00PM)
1560 Yeager Road
Royersford, PA
Hope to see you there!
How does your church connect with middle school students? What cool activities do you think would be great to add to an event like this?
Hurry Up – Parenting Thoughts From A Day At Ocean Grove
Yesterday, we took time to head to Ocean Grove, NJ with the kids who just came home from a missions trip to Johnstown, PA. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may remember that this has become one of our favorite places to spend time enjoying the beach (or the shore as we called it when I lived in New Jersey). It was an absolutely beautiful day. We arrived in town just in time to catch the Independence Day Parade as it marched through the narrow streets of Ocean Grove. We managed to find a parking spot just one block from the beach.
Before I got too settled into my beach chair, I ventured out for a 4 mile run that took me up and down the boardwalk between Asbury Park and Avon By the Sea. It was an exhilarating run. I felt as though I could run for another hour.
Back at the beach in between wave surfing and jellyfish dodging, I enjoyed time in the beach chair. It’s here where I relaxed – watching the kids, reading, eating lunch, and talking to Leanne. I also watched and listed those around me. It was amazing to see all the different people. I was amused as I watched kids playing in the sand. I was also amused by some of the conversations going on around us. As I listened to one set of parents trying to get their child to comply with their request to pose for a picture, I was struck by how often we as parents ask our kids to do something quickly. “Get dressed quickly.” “Hurry up and take the dog out.” “Snap to it.”
Now, I agree that our kids need to be quick to listen (like it says in James 1), but I think we sometimes rush them along for no other reason than we just don’t want to wait for them. I’m guilty of this like any other parent. Do we leave time in our busy schedules for our kids to take their time? Does everything have to be done in a hurry? I’m not so sure. It’s definitely something to think about.
What do you think? When was the last time you rushed your kids? Was there a good reason for this?
Guess Who I Am
This past week, I took a few days off from work to celebrate the start of our kids summer vacation and the end to a remarkable school year for both of them. We took a couple of days to go camping at French Creek State Park. It had been a few years since we have camped with just the four of us (plus the dog). And we really had a great time – spending time together and making many new memories.
One of the memories that I will have of this trip was a game that Hannah and Isaac came up with around the campfire. I’m guessing that they learned this game at one of their camping experiences last year. I’m not sure of the exact name of the game, but I think it should be called “Guess Who I Am.” In this game, the kids wrote down words that represented something on our camping trip. These words word were then taped to our foreheads so we couldn’t see them. Our goal was to ask questions in order to figure out what was on our paper.
It was hilarious to listen to the questions and answers as we went around the fire trying to guess who we were. For the first round, I was a chair. At one point, I became our newest dutch oven recipe – Hot Dog Pot Pie. Needless to say, we had some great family time together. My guess is that this will become a regular campfire game for our family.
Do you go camping? What do your campfire activities look like? What other things do you do to create family memories?