Introducing the Stretch Man Mastermind Group

You don’t climb mountains without a team, you don’t climb mountains without being fit, you don’t climb mountains without being prepared and you don’t climb mountains without balancing the risks and rewards. And you never climb a mountain on accident – it has to be intentional.

Mark Udall

Life is way too short to let it pass you by without a plan and without a support team.

I don’t want to get to the end of my life only to realize I had wasted my time here on earth.

I want to be intentional.  And I want to know I gave it my all.

Being a man – and specifically being a father and a husband – can be pretty challenging.  We have careers, family, friends, hobbies, and finances to balance.

I believe many men want to have deeper, more fulfilled lives, but they don’t know where to start.  Guys wander around through life afraid to ask for directions, and they miss out on living their best life ever.

Over the past several months, I’ve had multiple guys approach me in search of a mentor or a guide.  While I’m not a perfect parent or perfect spouse, they have seen something in my family and in me that makes them want to learn more.

These conversations are humbling, and I want to help.

Today, I’m excited to announce the launch of the Stretch Man Mastermind Group.  (To learn more about the mastermind group concept, click here.)

What is the Stretch Man Mastermind Group?

The Stretch Man Mastermind Group is a group of men committed to meeting together for three months.  The group will meet every other week in September, October, and November.  The meetings will be held over video conferencing software, so an internet connection, a webcam, and a decent microphone will be important.

Meetings will last 60-90 minutes.

Most meetings will start with a 20 minutes teaching time where I will share on a topic designed to help guys stretch themselves.  These topics will focus on helping us become better fathers, better husbands, and better men.  Then we will have a rotating “hot seat”.  Each meeting, we will focus on a challenge or question brought to the group by one of the mastermind members.  The “hot seat” will rotate from meeting to meeting, so everyone has the opportunity to be on the “hot seat” and to focus on their challenge/question.

The first meeting will provide an opportunity for the group to get to know each other.  And we’ll jump into our normal format for the second meeting.

In between the bi-weekly meetings, the group will correspond with each other in the group’s private Facebook group.

During this inaugural three months, I will also offer two one-on-one calls with each participant to tackle your additional questions and challenges.

This paid mastermind is designed to provide the support, community and accountability you need to intentionally STRETCH your parenting, marriage, and manhood to the next level.

Spots in the Stretch Man Mastermind Group are filling up fast, and I don’t want you to miss out.

If this excites you or you want to learn more, connect with me in the comments or by leaving your information below:

Why You Need To Write Your Eulogy Today

One way to evaluate your own reputation is to think about what would be said of you at your eulogy.

Brian Koslow

Have you ever taken time to write your eulogy?

Why would anyone want to write their eulogy?

While I was in Vermont last week, I worked on my eulogy and my life plan.  I spent a lot of time working on these documents.  My eulogy filled two pages in my journal, but the thoughts that went into creating the eulogy filled eleven pages of my journal.  I spent nearly three hours creating this document.

My life plan is still in progress.  I started my charting out my key accounts – the people and the areas of my life where I want to direct the bulk of my attention.  I prioritized them.  And I wrote a purpose statement for each of these accounts.  My next step was to envision the future if I were to achieve the purpose in each of these accounts.  By the time I finish, I will have an action plan – a life plan – for living my life with more intention.

I’m using Living Forward (by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy) to guide my thought process.  If you want to take a deeper look into your life, I’d encourage you to pick up a copy of the book, read it, and schedule time to implement the process outlined in the book.  Click here to get your own copy of the book.

When I told a few people I was working on my eulogy, I got a mix of responses.  Some people cheered me on.  Some people said they would just let their kids and grandchildren write their eulogy.  And some people proclaimed how morbid this activity seemed to them.

It’s interesting timing for me to work on this.  I’m doing fine health wise.  I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, but you never know.  Actually, the reason this timing was interesting was that my parents just sent me copies of their eulogies.  They are still alive, but they have recently experienced some health challenges that are making them take these actions.

I didn’t work on my eulogy because my parents sent me their eulogies.  I didn’t write my eulogy because I was feeling morbid.

I wrote my eulogy at the age of 44, because I want to live with intention.

Writing your own eulogy is an exercise in thinking about how you want to be remembered.  When you know how you want to be remembered, you begin to better understand the way you should live your life today.  I’m not writing my eulogy to be morbid.  I’m writing my eulogy to make sure I’m living life to the fullest.

It’s never too early to live with intention.  It’s never too early to write your eulogy.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12

Have you written your eulogy?  What are you doing to live your life with intention?  Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m in the early stages of planning a Stretched Dad Mastermind group.  I don’t have all the details yet, but I’m hoping to launch in September.  If you sign up below, I’ll get back to you with more information.

Are You A Father? It’s Time To Get Intentional

Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person.

Naveen Jain

Our world needs fathers who are present, attentive, and intentional.  Our world is plagued with poor examples of fatherhood.  We see fathers abandoning their families physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

It’s time for a change!

I’ve been a father for over 18 years.

Fatherhood has brought me some of the greatest challenges in life and some of the greatest experiences of life.

My kids are wonderful, but I’ve wrestled through sleepless nights, paralyzing fears, car accidents, and a calendar that won’t give me a break.

On the other hand, my kids have given me the chance to experience victories on the track and cross-country course, emotional highs while listening to their music, and times to just be together.

18 years of fatherhood has gone by so quickly.  When I first started on this parenting journey, I didn’t feel like some of the early struggles would ever end.  Then I blinked.  Now, I’m ready to send my oldest to college.

When you become a father, you have two choices.  You can just let it happen.  Or you can be intentional with how you parent your kids.

I’ve tried to be intentional when it coming to fathering my children, but if I’m honest, there have been many times when I’ve just let it happen.

It’s easy to let the distractions of life, of career, and of personal pursuit get in the way of being the fathers we really need to be for our children, our spouses, and our future grandchildren.  We have a responsibility to provide for our families, but we also have a responsibility to be present for them.

If you’re a dad and you feel like you could do a better job, you’re not alone.  You need to know this.  You need to know that you can start TODAY to be more intentional when it comes to fatherhood.

Part of being a more intentional father involves hanging out with other fathers who want to make the most of their time of fatherhood.  You need this kind of community for ideas, encouragement, and accountability.  Trying to be a more intentional father without the help of others may work for a short period of time, but your efforts will be much more effective when you team up with other dads.

If you’re missing out on this kind of community with other fathers, let me know.  I’m in the early stages of planning a Stretched Dad Mastermind group.  I don’t have all the details yet, but I’m hoping to launch in September.  If you sign up below, I’ll get back to you with more information.

Happy Father’s Day!

Measure Your Words

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Nursery Rhyme

What a lie!

Words have tremendous power to lift people up and encourage them.  They have the power to inspire and motivate.  They have the power to paint a beautiful picture.  Words can take you to the places of your dreams.  And they can take people with you if used correctly.

But there’s also a dark side to words.

Words have power to tear down and destroy.  They have the power to mislead and misrepresent.  Used incorrectly, words lie and even kill.  Words can take you to very dark places.  And they can take people with you if used incorrectly.

There’s a lot of talk about guns and immigrants lately.  People want to bring control to these two areas.  This isn’t a commentary on these debates.

What if we started by bringing more control to our tongues?

Words matter.  Don’t waste them.  Don’t use them as weapons.  Instead, find ways to be constructive when you speak and when you write.

If you want to be a man, measure your words.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.  Psalm 19:14

How have the words of others impacted you?  Share your thoughts in the comments.

If you are interested in talking about issues like this with other men, consider signing up for my men’s mastermind list.  I don’t have all the details right now, but I’m looking to see who might be interested in a group to help you become a better father, a better husband, and a better follow of Christ.  Sign up below, and I’ll keep you posted.

How To Respond To Rage

The great test of life is to see whether we will hearken to and obey God’s commands in the midst of the storms of life. It is not to endure storms, but to choose the right while they rage.

Henry B. Eyring

Rage (often called fury or frenzy) is a feeling of intense, violent, or growing anger. It is sometimes associated with the fight-or-flight response, and is often activated in response to an external cue, such as an event that impacts negatively on the person. The phrase “thrown into a fit of rage” expresses the immediate nature of rage that occurs before deliberation. If left unchecked, rage may lead to violence. Depression and anxiety lead to an increased susceptibility to rage, and there are modern treatments for this emotional pattern.

When faced with someone’s rage, how do you respond?

Do you turn away?  Do you clam up?  Do you simply freeze?  Or do you respond back with anger and rage?

The responses above are all natural.  We want to be right.  We want to be heard.  And we don’t want to be treated unfairly.  So we often look for ways to take revenge.

How can we get back at the person who is unjustly throwing their anger our way?  How can we make sure we get the last word?

I think we’re looking at it all wrong.

A friend of mine recently pointed out the following passage from Romans 12:17-21:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Seriously?

Live at peace with everyone?  How is that possible especially when I want to take revenge?  Paul’s response is right on.  He calls us to overcome evil with good.  When we do this, we are actually putting “burning coals” on the head of our enemy.

I can’t go back to the person I “met” on the Ben Franklin Parkway.  I stayed away as he drove on ahead.  While I may never see him again, I can pray for him.  And I can look for ways to overcome the evil I face on a daily basis with good.

In case you are wondering, this isn’t an option for those who chose to follow Christ.  We have to find a better way.  We have to resist the urge to rage back.

Paul challenges believers in Ephesians 4:31:

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Do you struggle with rage?  What are you dong to overcome evil with good?  Share your thoughts in the comments.

If you are interested in talking about issues like this with other men, consider signing up for my men’s mastermind list.  I don’t have all the details right now, but I’m looking to see who might be interested in a group to help you become a better father, a better husband, and a better follow of Christ.  Sign up below, and I’ll keep you posted.

Book Review: Raising A Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis

Two months ago, I picked up a copy of Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis at the Weekend to Remember FamilyLife marriage conference that Leanne and I attended in Hershey, PA.  During my vacation to Texas, I had a chance to finish reading the book, so I thought I would share my thoughts.

If you are a dad, you need to read this book!

How’s that for a statement?  The book is written as a guide and encouragement for fathers to help guide their son’s and son-in-law’s into authentic manhood.  In today’s world of gender equality, the title and subject matter of this book may seem old-fashioned and out of touch with the culture.  But when you open up the pages of this book and begin to uncover the teachings and truths developed by Lewis, you’ll discover a father who takes his role as a father seriously.

In Raising A Modern-Day Knight, Lewis shares his own journey of defining manhood with two other fathers.  He describes the method they used to ceremonially transform their boys to men.  Lewis gives practical tips and shows how dads like you and me can do the same thing for our boys.  He also gives hope and encouragement to fathers who may feel like it’s too late for them.

I finished reading this book encouraged, inspired, and motivated to take my role as a father more seriously.  I’m excited to return home this week where I can begin to develop my own strategy for being more intentional in working with other fathers to transform our boys into modern-day knights.

I highly recommend this book!  (This book gets 5 Stretch Marks out of 5.)

How are you being intentional in your parenting these days?  How were your parents intentional in raising you?  Give us some examples in the comments.