Hope, Compassion, Love, and Faithfulness – Happy Halloween
Happy Halloween! I cannot believe that we are here at the last day of October. (I also cannot believe that we had snow this weekend, but that’s another story.) As I look back on the past month, I am thankful for God’s faithfulness and steadfast love. As I recall, I started this month with feelings of anxiety and anticipation as we continued through a season of difficult memories. Last year, Leanne came home from the hospital on October 1st and began extended care at a day program. As we went through October last year, we were definitely trying to find a rock to stand on – some sort of normal – some type of answer that everything would be okay.
So as we started this October, things had been moving along pretty well. We had started to hit a “normal” stride. There was nothing to say that was going to change. But I still carried some memories of last year. As October has revealed itself each day, I have been relieved and renewed to see God’s faithfulness. We’ve had a lot of things to be thankful for this month like: a family trip to the Apple Farm/Pumpkin Patch, spectating at several of Hannah’s cross-country meets, enjoying food and friends at our 1st ever Chilifest, having the opportunity to serve at the Norristown Community House and Cradles to Crayons, and having the opportunity to share at a Group Leader Meeting.
While I’ve been processing these thoughts these days, it was appropriate that one of my readings from this weekend came from the book of Lamentations. In this passage, I am reminded of hope, never-ending compassion, unfailing love, and enduring faithfulness that comes from God. This is a great way to leave the month of October!
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.
Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.
Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.
Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.
For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.
Lamentations 3:21-33
How have you experienced God’s hope, never-ending compassion, unfailing love, and enduring faithfulness this month?
ChiliFest
This Saturday, we had a blast at our house – the first ever ChiliFest! We invited several couples over with the idea that they would bring over their own chili to share with the rest of the guests. We provided drinks, salad, dessert, and corn bread. It was so fun to get together with couples who represented a hodgepodge of our friendships from the area. There were friends from our neighborhood, friends from our old neighborhood, and friends from our church. We enjoyed White Chicken Chili, Taco Chili, Buffalo Chicken Chili, Spicy Green Pork Chili, Pork/Beef/Beer Chili, and Traditional Tex-Mex Chili. As we enjoyed the Chili, guests voted for their favorite chili’s in six different categories: Most Unique Chili, Most Delicious Chili, Most Spicy Chili, Most Likely to Serve at Home Chili, Most Colorful Chili, and Best Overall Chili. The winners of each category took home a unique bottle of hot sauce.
Besides the great food, we enjoyed great times with friends. It was neat to see people from our friendship circles interacting with people they had never met before. When we bought our house six years ago, we planned to use our home as a place to welcome our friends and neighbors – to bring connection and community to those around us. Saturday’s ChiliFest was a great reminder for us! I can’t wait until the next get together at our house.
What fun ideas do you have for fun in-home gatherings?
Borrowed Beauty
Later this year, I will hit a milestone birthday – the big 4-0! Honestly, I don’t think I’ve thought about it too much. Although maybe I’m giving myself too much credit. After all, my blog post today is starting with this thought.
At any rate, something happened last night that made me feel old. Many of you know my daughter, Hannah, or have an idea of who she is thanks to my blog. Next month, she will turn 14. This is part of my aging process. It seems like yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital in her car seat and sweater outfit that Grammy made for her. Well, she’s not a baby any more. My Sweetie is turning into quite a beautiful and caring young lady.
Yesterday as part of her Columbus Day holiday, she went Halloween costume shopping with Leanne at our local Goodwill store. She came home with this beautiful red evening gown that she purchased for $20 with her own money. After dinner last night, she tried in on for me. Wow! How did we go from a baby sweater to a flowing red gown so fast? As I hugged Hannah and commented on her beauty, I asked her not to grow up so fast. She smiled as if to say, “I can’t help it, and I’m proud of who I’m becoming.”
I’m proud of her as well. As Leanne and I were talking about Hannah later last night, Leanne reminded me that Hannah is really on loan from God. God gave us Hannah and Isaac to nurture and support for a little while, but they were never fully ours from the beginning. They belong to God. I’m so thankful for the chance to borrow these two amazing kids. And yes, I will cherish each moment and day I get to spend with them.
How do you look at your kids?
What’s something you are borrowing that will one day need to be returned?
How I Spend My Time Is A Moral Issue
“How I spend my time is a moral issue.”
This was the statement someone made to me yesterday, and I can’t stop thinking about it.
How does this statement impact you? I mean if we’re serious about it, this statement could change the way we live or at least change the way we think as we live. Is wasting time immoral? When I fail to make the most of each and every opportunity am I sinning? How do I really live in light of this statement? Do I make the most of the time that I’ve been given?
Does watching TV count? I mean, come on, I love watching those reality TV shows like Survivor, Amazing Race, and Biggest Loser. Are you telling me that watching these shows could be wrong?
How about surfing on the internet? I’m not into porn, but I probably spend too much time on the computer surfing the social media scenes on Facebook, Foursquare, Empire Avenue, Twitter, etc. Could too much time on the computer mean that I’m sinning?
How about during my drive time? I’m in the car at least an hour every day driving to and from work. Surely, I don’t make the most of my time in the car. Hmmm….
Do you see what I mean? This statement has got me thinking!
What do you think? Does that statement hit you the same way?
Magic Boy and Super Sitter
It’s hard to believe how quickly our kids grow. This picture was taken the first day of school (this year), and I think they’ve grown another few inches since then. A couple of weeks ago, we took the kids with us to visit Grove City College for Homecoming and Leanne’s 15th Class Reunion. Leanne and I felt especially “older” as our kids were clearly the oldest kids among Leanne’s classmates.
One of the cool things about our visit was how our friends’ kids were attracted to our kids. When we were walking over to line up for the parade, one of our friends’ kids ran up to Isaac and said, “Hey Magic Boy, do a magic trick!” And he was completely serious. He had been to our home a month or two prior to homecoming and remembered Isaac doing magic tricks for the kids. Leanne and I often remark to each other how much of a performer our son can be. He loves to put on shows for people. He is the first to jump on the piano or to take out his trumpet when guests come over. We sometimes wonder what Isaac will do when he grows up. Perhaps, he’ll be the ring master for a circus, a musician, or a preacher or worship leader. It’s fun to imagine as we watch our son bloom.
At Grove City, most of the kids were attracted to Hannah. And many of the parents were putting bids on Hannah to come to their homes over the summer to watch their kids. Hannah is a leader and a care-giver. She knows how to take charge and how to have compassion. She had the opportunity to hold a baby, and it was fun to watch her as the baby fell asleep in her arms. She also was the leader for the preschoolers and elementary kids as they made up games and did crafts together. Leanne and I often say that Hannah will have an interesting future. Will she be a teacher, a missionary, a mom, or president of some organization? Like her brother, it’s fun to watch as our daughter matures and becomes a young lady.
As we watch our kids grow, we have come to know and realize that time goes so quickly. Each moment is precious as they fly by before our eyes. It’s for this reason that I often say that Paul’s call in Colossians to “make the most of every opportunity” was about sharing our faith, but it’s also a great reminder to take advantage of the time we have with our kids. Walking around Grove City College a couple of weeks ago with our kids was a huge reminder that our kids will be venturing to college before we know it. We need to make the most of these days we have with “Magic Boy” and “Super Sitter.”
What characteristics and gifts to you see developing in your children? What are you doing to make the most of the opportunities you have with your children?
My Dad
Today is my dad’s birthday. If you happen to be friends with him on Facebook, hop on over and wish him a happy birthday. Or leave him a comment on his blog. I introduced him here on my blog this summer, when he shared a guest post about God In The Spaces. As I stated in the introduction to his post, I owe so much of who I am including my writing to him. He’s been writing for as long as I know, and I suspect he was probably writing as soon as he could hold a pen or a pencil – I’ll have to ask my grandma.
At any rate, I wanted to post today to reflect on some memories I have of my dad. I think it’s important to reflect on these things from time to time. So here are my thoughts:
1. My dad is one of the smartest people I know. Seriously, he has read so much, and he retains what he reads. My friends at our church growing up used to refer to him as Cliff Claven (from Cheers), because dad was always sharing some little known fact about something. I know my family (especially my brothers) joke around about this, but I think it’s more out of envy and appreciation than anything else.
2. My dad is a lot stronger than most people realize. He used to workout bench pressing more than 300 pounds. His hobby in college was cliff climbing. I smile as I remember the time that he lifted one of our youth group teenagers off the ground when this teen tried to sneak up on my dad from behind. That kid never messed with my dad again. And the rest of the youth group talked about “Norm’s strength” for years.
3. My dad isn’t perfect. Despite being a pastor and very close to God (that’s another thing I’ll share in a few seconds), my dad is human. I chuckle as I think about the holes in doors and walls that he created himself as he chased one of my brothers down the hall or banged his head in frustration. I also think about the game of National Geographic Global Pursuit that ended when my brother, my grandpa, and my dad show-off the family stubbornness in questioning a move. I’m not sure we ever played that game afterwards.
4. My dad is intentional. I especially think of all the times when dad stops us in our tracks to make sure we understand what’s going on in a particular moment or situation. He says, “I want to stop and remember this moment, this milestone. This is important.” He does this whenever we are together. When my brother, Erik, graduated from college, I can remember him stopping to celebrate and to thank God for this milestone. When my family got together to celebrate my grandparents anniversary, I remember him stopping to make sure we captured the moment that we were all together for one last time. On mission trips and youth retreats as a teenager, I remember dad gathering us together at the end of the week or weekend to reflect on what God just did through the trip or retreat. In some ways, this is one of the main reasons I blog. I want to create a record of the things in my life; I don’t want to forget how God has worked through the ups and downs of my daily life.
5. My dad is very close to God. As I mentioned earlier, my dad takes his relationship with God very seriously. I admire my dad’s dedication, commitment, and example. He spends time regularly praying, meditating, memorizing, and thinking about God. I’m convinced that his number one passion is to follow Jesus and to be close to Him. This pours from everything my dad does and says.
I’m sure I could go on, but I’ll stop for now. I just wanted to reflect and share about my dad today as he celebrates his birthday.
Dad, thanks for being such a great example to me and others. Thanks for being you! Happy Birthday! I love you!
How do you remember your parents? For those of you who know my dad, feel free to comment with your own thought or memory of him.
Limitless
Today, I am blessed to share a guest post from Tara Watson. Tara is a wife, mom, friend, and fellow blogger. This year, she started blogging about her weight loss journey, but I think it’s turned into so much more. I would highly encourage you to check out her blog (Chewing The Fat On Skinny) and become one of her readers. Today, Tara shares about changing her view from CANNOT to CAN DO! I love what she writes below. Check it out, and let me know what you think by sending me a comment.
(I’m always looking for guest bloggers to share on Jon Stolpe Stretched. Let me know if you’re interested in writing a guest post. Thanks!)
When Jon asked me to be a guest blogger I thought, that’s like Picasso saying ‘Tara, come on over and we’ll sketch for a while’, because I consider Jon a fantastic writer. And then I thought “why not?”
When I was pondering about what was stretching me, plenty of things came to mind, but one thing came to the top of my mind. I’m reading this (fiction) book about an overachieving working mother of three whose life is turned upside-down after she sustains a traumatic brain injury (uplifting eh?). This (truly inspiring) book follows her journey before, during and after the injury. At one point during the book, she is in the hospital doing her physical therapy, feeling sorry for herself, and on the road to Doomsville as she calls it. Then she has an a-ha! moment. She realizes that she has been focusing on what she can’t do instead of what she CAN do. And this really changes how she approaches not only her recovery but her life.
This story, for many reasons, really resonates with me. I am an overachieving working mother of two who happens to have a neurological illness. I was diagnosed with this illness in 2002, and it has gotten worse over the past few years. It’s called trigeminal neuralgia/atypical facial pain (isn’t that a mouthful). It causes me to experience a variety of pains in the right hand side of my head from pinching and pulling, to feeling like someone is driving nails in my head, to stop you in your tracks lightning bolts of pain. I am now on a (mostly) successful treatment program that has helped reduce the frequency and intensity of the attacks, but it still very much impacts how I can live my life.
Some of my pain triggers are cold weather, hot weather, stress, noise, surprise, crying, laughing, going to the dentist…pretty much every day living. 😉 This impacts what kind of job I can hold, what I can do with my kids, and what kind of volunteer work I help with. It limits the time I can enjoy being outside doing hobbies, going to concerts, and doing adventurous things. Truth be told, if I sat down and made a list of what I can’t do because of this illness I’d most likely need some tissues and chocolate.
Instead, just like the character in the book, I am choosing to focus on what I CAN do. I can be a loving Mom, a compassionate wife, a giving family member, a kind friend and a helpful co-worker. I can hug, love, laugh, cry, jump, run, see and feel. I can dance, exercise, read, do my job well, and be crafty and funny. I CAN do soooo many more things than I cannot. Another thing I can do is to look at myself through God’s eyes.
You see, God doesn’t look at what we can’t do because he knows what we CAN do. He knows the very essence of who we are. He doesn’t see our limits, He sees us as limitless. He doesn’t see handicaps or illness, skin color or gender. He sees our beauty, talent and our untapped potential. God knows our faults and flaws, and He loves us anyway. And He has great plans for us, if only we would believe.
When I think about God’s great love for me and what He sees in me, the idea of cannot is erased. If God believes in me, I need to believe in me too. I need to love me like God loves me and accept that what I cannot do does not limit me, it defines me. You see, life’s pain and troubles refine me into exactly who God wants me to be.
This week, I ask you to take stock in how you are living your life. Are you focusing on what you cannot do? Chasing after things that you cannot have?
Or are you living in the can-do? Remove the self-imposed limits you put on your life, focus on the little and big things that you CAN do, and realize that with God by your side and in your heart, you are limitless!
It’s The People – Back From Grove City College Homecoming
We just returned from a spectacular weekend at Grove City College. The weather was uncharacteristically perfect – sunny with few clouds. The campus was beautiful. We continue to be blown away by all the enhancements and new buildings that keep popping up each time we visit. The campus just keeps improving. The homecoming festivities were traditionally fun. We marched in the parade through campus and downtown Grove City with Leanne’s classmates. We enjoyed a reunion luncheon. And listened to the marching band march towards the football field during their pre-game ritual. It was fun to give our kids a tour of all the places on campus that we remembered and that were new. (Honestly, there was a bit more of a sales pitch going on this year than in other years.) It’s hard to believe that our oldest is five years away from college. (Did I just type that?!?)
All these things were great about our visit to Grove City College. But the best thing by far was visiting with friends. I got to visit with my friend, “Hack”, who roomed with me for two years and was the best man in our wedding. Our time was short, but it was like old times as we shared some of our college days memories and caught up on some of the recent happenings of our families. We also spent a lot of time with Leanne’s friends and their families. In the 15 years since they graduated, Leanne’s friends have been keeping in touch through a monthly newsletter and through a once or twice a year get together. The husbands of these ladies have become friends as well. I absolutely enjoyed catching up these men. And our kids had a blast hanging out together.
So while we enjoyed see Grove City College and its beautiful campus, the best part was the people. Friendships of this quality and type are worth remembering and are worth celebrating. I think the memories and the common Grove City ground help to bond these friendships, but I think it’s faith and the common bond of Christ that really has cemented many of these friendships that were formed more than 15 years ago.
As we finished up our time with Leanne’s friends at the hotel. We cleaned up after breakfast, and we joined together in a small worship service. We sang a few songs to the accompaniment of two guitars and a cello. The kids participated in an activity designed to keep them preoccupied but also to help them think about how God is growing and shaping them. And we finished with prayer together. It was during this service that I realized how important our Grove City College friendships really were. It was these friends who last year prayed every day at 1PM for Leanne and our family as we journeyed through some very difficult waters. It was these friends who prayed yesterday and thanked God for healing. It’s a wonderful thing to know that people have your back. This is why I love Grove City College and why it was such a blessing to go back this weekend!
Do you go to your college homecoming? How do you keep in touch with your friends from back in the day?
Hitting My Stride
As a runner, there are times when I am running where everything flows. My breathing becomes controlled. My pace feels good. My legs and the rest of my body feel good as they move in concert. These are the times when I know I’ve hit my stride. It just feels right. This feeling doesn’t always last for the rest of the run, and sometimes it comes and goes as I run against strong head winds or I turn the corner and face a long hill. But it’s nice while it lasts.
As things have been developing at work, at home, at our kids’ school, and even here on the blog, I have recently had a feeling of peace – a feeling that I may finally be hitting my stride. I’m a little afraid to say that for fear that I have somehow jinxed myself. And I do realize that there will be things that come along that throw me off my stride – that throw me out of rhythm – and that’s okay. I just wanted to celebrate this moment.
What can you celebrate today?
The Birds and The Bees – Talking to Your Kids About Sex
I was blessed as a kid with parents who spoke clearly and appropriately about sex. The summer before I went into sixth grade, I remember my dad taking me camping to Lake Atsion. It was here that we spent time camping and cooking. And it was here that my dad gave me “the talk” about sex. I’m sure it was somewhat awkward for both of us, but this was clearly an important conversation.
From what I’ve heard, most kids don’t learn about the birds and the bees from this type of candid discussion from their parents. Most kids learn from their peers, from pornographic magazines and websites, and from experimentation.
Leanne and I decided early on in our parenting that we didn’t want our kids learn first about sex from others. Several years ago at a Family Life Marriage Conference, we picked up a four book series called “God’s Design for Sex.” Each book is written for a different age group to give parents the tools to talk to their kids about sex with age appropriate material. Leanne read through these books with Hannah already, and I’ve been reading the books with our son. As Isaac is in the first weeks of sixth grade, we are finishing up the third book in the series. There’s been a little awkwardness as we’ve talked about things like periods, AIDS, and about some of the “mechanics” of sex. (I’m an engineer, I couldn’t help it.) But our conversation has also been good.
I’m thankful for the example of my parents, for helpful tools like these books, and for the chance to teach our kids about a subject that matters.
How did you learn about sex? How have you handled this subject with your own kids?