“There is no success without hardship.”
Sophocles
At one time or another, we all endure some time of hardship in our lives. I’m not hear to measure or compare hardships; I’m simply making an observation that from time to time life can seem really hard. I’m kind of in one of those seasons right now. Without going into detail, I feel like I have the weight of the world hanging on my shoulders. I wish I could simply snap my fingers and everything would be fixed, but it’s just not that easy. The hardship I’m enduring will take time to resolve.
Often, hardships take time to navigate and even slog through. Patience is required as we take one difficult step at a time.
When we find ourselves in times of hardship, I’ve found it helpful to do the following:
I don’t know what hardships you may be facing in your life right now. I pray you’d find hope, peace, courage, and wisdom to persevere. If you are like me, you desire the easier, more comfortable road. Perhaps, God’s working through the junk in our lives for a better purpose, a bright future. We may not understand fully the reasons for our hardship, but we do have a God who can work through and redeem the tough times in our lives.
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
Albert Einstein
When I was a very young child (a baby), I couldn’t walk at first. I didn’t have the strength required to stand up and to move forward. When I first started to test out walking, I fell often as I struggled to maintain my balance. I don’t remember this personally, but I can surmise this to be the case given the struggles I remember my own children having when they initially attempted their first steps.
Over time, walking became easier. Walking eventually turned into running, skipping, and hopping. Then I learned to balance on two wheels as I rode a bicycle for the first time without training wheels at the age of four. My ability to balance was becoming stronger. I remember doing pretty well on the frozen ponds of Wheaton, IL as I balanced on the thin blades of my first pair of ice skates.
Balancing has been a fact of life for my entire life. As I grew older, physical balance continued to develop and grow on the gym floors, athletic fields, and outdoor venues. But I learned that balance also has a time component and a focus component. For example, I often find myself trying to balance my schedule. After all, I can’t do everything at the same time. I must learn to prioritize. I must learn to say “No”, so I can say “Yes”. This is also the same in my areas of focus. What gets focused on gets done. If I spread out my focus too broadly nothing gets done.
Just this week, I had something in my life happen that threw things off balance. I felt like I had been heading in a good direction in this area before an imbalanced, outside force came in and disrupted things. While many of us want to discover the “zen spot” where everything is balanced, I think it’s important to remember that there will always be outside forces which require us to make adjustments to rediscover that balance point.
These are interesting questions. As a disciplined person, I’ve come to depend on balance in my life. It helps me stay the course. Balance keeps me on the right path (at least that’s what I like to think). I probably need to make sure I’m not so self-reliant on my ability to create balance in my life though.
When outside forces or events come in and disrupt my balance, I have often been reminded of the importance of trusting in God. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to “Trust the Lord with all our hearts. Lean not on our own understanding. Acknowledge Him, and He will make our paths straight (paraphrased).” Perhaps restated Proverbs 3:5-6 might read, “Rely solely on God for balance in your life. He’s there for you even when life seems out of whack.”
A few weeks ago, my Mom fell and broke her hip. She is 73 years old, and she suffers from Early Onset Alzheimer’s. Over the past few years, we have seen a decline in her ability to balance physically. She has been using a cane more regularly the past year or two. She is currently using a walker as she relearns to walk with her repaired hip. Mom’s physical balance more than likely will not get a lot better on this side of heaven. Having said this, I feel blessed to say that even as parts of Mom’s mind begin to disappear, she finds balance in the the Lord. A month or so ago, while we were in Minneapolis celebrating my Grandpa Miller’s life, Mom could be heard singing “Great is Thy Faithfulness”. God is faithful even when the rest of life feels out of balance. Thanks for this reminder, Mom!
“The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.”
Aldous Huxley
According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, a genius is a very smart or talented person : a person who has a level of talent or intelligence that is very rare or remarkable. People often name Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton as geniuses in the world of science. A few years ago, the BestSchools.org website listed 50 of today’s living geniuses which included: Warren Buffett, Jackie Chan, Bob Dylan, Bill Gates, Wayne Gretzky, Tony Hawk, Stephen Hawking, Michael Jordan, Stan Lee, Yo-Yo Ma, Cormac McCarthy, Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey, and Mark Zuckerberg.
When we think of the word genius, we think of someone really smart from our school, from our places of employment, or perhaps from our community. We think of people who have achieved success and prominence through their brilliance. We think of other people, but we don’t typically put ourselves on the list.
I was exchanging messages earlier this week with my friend, Cliff Ravenscraft. Cliff left his job in the insurance world to pursue podcasting. He became known to many as the Podcast Answer Man. More recently, he pivoted and became the Mindset Answer Man. Through his coaching, he has helped many take their lives to the Next Level. In our message exchange, he suggested I take another look at The Big Leap (Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level) by Gay Hendricks. Specifically, Cliff encouraged me to identify my Zone of Genius.
I first read The Big Leap in January 2018, and I remember it making sense. Sometimes it takes a friendly reminder and another look to turn the lessons learned from a book like this into action. On Friday, I took some time to go to the beach by myself. It was a beautiful day. I took time to walk, to clear my head, to stick my feet in the warm ocean, and to re-read the first two chapters of The Big Leap.
In The Big Leap, Hendricks defines our Zone of Genius as “the set of activities you are uniquely suited to do.” He separates this from the Zone of Excellence (“the activities you do extremely well”), the Zone of Competence (the activities you can do, but others can do just as well), and the Zone of Incompetence (“made up of all the activities we’re not good at”). So many of us stop at the Zone of Competence or the Zone of Excellence, but we fail to make it to the Zone of Genius. We do our jobs adequately or even well, but we fail to do what we are uniquely suited to do.
I still have a lot of work to do to re-read and process this book. Working in our Zone of Genius requires thought. It requires us to identify what we are uniquely suited to do. And it requires us to shed the activities in the other zones, so we have more time and energy to operate in our Zone of Genius. We must learn to say “No” to things outside our Zone of Genius. We must learn to delegate. We must learn to let others help us with tasks outside our Zone of Genius. I was talking to some friends last night, and I realized that this may mean asking someone to paint our house for me. I was a painter the summer in between high school and college. I painted all the rooms in our last house. I have painted the garage and the dining room at our new house. I know how to paint. I do an okay job at it. But if I’m honest I’m not uniquely suited to paint. My height helps me, but I don’t have the most steady of hands and I tend to take longer than those who paint for a living.
I don’t remember if Hendricks says this in his book, but I think it is imperative for us to discover and live in our Zones of Genius if we want to be good stewards and live the lives we were meant to live. I don’t imagine I’ll ever show up on a list of the Top 50 Living Geniuses of the World, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t pursue my own Zone of Genius.
Thanks, Cliff, for the reminder. I’m excited to share with you in the future where my journey to my Zone of Genius takes me.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)
“Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.”
Thomas A. Edison
I have found myself dealing with restlessness the past several months. I’m contemplating change, but I’m not yet convinced change will solve the restlessness I feel. Besides that, I don’t like change (I’m sure I’ve shared that here before). Change in itself is disrupting. It requires a new direction, flexibility, and an ability to adapt.
For so long, I’ve talked about the importance of stretching and growing as a means to really experiencing life. And now, I’m fighting to find the courage to follow my own advice.
Thomas Edison’s quote above provides a reasonable perspective to embrace restlessness. But I also think there is a balance between restlessness and contentment.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV)
The Apostle Paul in his letter to the Philippians indicates that finding contentment in any and every situation is possible and is a worthwhile pursuit.
So how do we in our human condition experience true contentment? Can we be content and restless at the same time?
For one, I know I must rely on Jesus. God and His Word must be my first priority, my go-to for wisdom, and my sustainer – even when life gets crazy around me. Too often in our restlessness, we fail to seek God first. Our priorities are out of alignment and our sense of contentment suffers as a result. Does God come first in your life? How does that reflect in your schedule? Are you making time to spend with the Creator? Jesus reminds us that “all these things” will be given to us when we seek first the Kingdom of God. This sounds like contentment to me.
I know I must look to wise advisors. Obviously, I lean on my wife when it comes to my restlessness, and I also have other individuals in my corner who do a great job listening and providing wise feedback based on their knowledge and experience. Who is in your corner? Do you have advisors in your life who you can trust? Solomon reminds us in Proverbs 15:22 that “plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”
I know I must practice daily gratitude. When we fail to recognize the good in our lives, we ultimately drive ourselves deeper into restless and eventually into despair. Why are you thankful today? What happened in your life today that deserves appreciation and gratitude? Who do you need to thank today? A thankful heart is a heart on the path towards contentment.
I know I must keep pursuing my calling, my purpose, and my mission. I believe God made me on purpose for a purpose. I must embrace a certain level of restlessness as I pursue my calling, my purpose, and my mission. As I’m learning, these things can push you in new directions as you navigate the pathway of life. I don’t want to be content if I’m failing to use my God given gifts and talents to serve others and if I’m failing to make a Kingdom difference in this world. Are you pursing your calling, your purpose, and your mission? Do you need someone to help you figure this out? A life on mission is a life heading towards contentment.
As I approach my 50th birthday, I’m growing to understand that restlessness is probably a common condition at this age. While I want to keep working in some capacity for the rest of my life, my most productive remaining years from a career perspective are probably the next 10-15 years. How do I want to spend these years when it comes to work? I’m also realizing my own mortality. Watching my Mom be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at age 67, seeing my Dad’s hair turn completely white, and saying goodbye to my Grandpa Miller who used to run circles around everyone have provided a poignant reminder that our earthly lives are short. I want to live my earthly life with a confident gusto.
The more I think about it, I think there may be a difference between regular restlessness and holy restlessness. Regular restlessness happens when we chase after the things of this world – possessions, wealth, fame, recognition. But holy restlessness happens when we chase after God and His Kingdom in our lives. Much of my restlessness has been the regular kind. If I’m going to be restless, I want it to be the holy kind of restlessness.
God, give me a holy restlessness and help me find contentment. I want to honor you with my life.
“What does a man acquire from all his labor and from the anxiety that accompanies his toil on earth? For all day long his work produces pain and frustration, and even at night his mind cannot relax. This also is futile! There is nothing better for people than to eat and drink, and to find enjoyment in their work. I also perceived that this ability to find enjoyment comes from God.”
Ecclesiastes 2:22-24 (NET)
Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light.
Helen Keller
Last night, I returned from an eventful trip to Minneapolis to celebrate Grandpa Miller‘s life. If you talk to anyone in my family, I think they will agree that this was not the trip we had planned.
I’ll spare you all the gory details, but I will tell you that the hotel glass shower door exploded as my Mom was getting out of the shower on Friday morning right before the scheduled visitation and funeral for Grandpa. Mom ended up taking an ambulance ride to the local hospital to get 12 stitches in her wrist and foot, several bandages, and a tetanus shot. And the funeral ended up being rescheduled to 2pm later that day. Needless to say, the whole family was a bit shaken by the morning that shattered our plans.
Yesterday morning as we gathered in the hotel lobby from breakfast and goodbyes, it was reassuring to see the shared smiles and laughter as we recounted the events of the previous day and as we reflected on time together.
We cannot always predict when life will send us a roadblock or an experience that leaves us shaken, but I there are things we can do to prepare us for these events and that we can do even when we find ourselves in a pile of broken glass and blood.
First, we can sing. Crazy as it sounds, my Mom, who has Alzheimer’s, began singing Great is They Faithfulness as my sister-in-law and my wife tried to stop the bleeding until the paramedics showed up. God is still great and faithful even when we find ourselves in a mess. Mom’s instinct to sing this song was right on.
Second, we can practice flexibility. I don’t like when things interrupt my plans, but here’s the deal: Life happens despite our calendars. No one could have planned for the exploding shower door. We had no choice but to adapt, and so we did. We changed the funeral time. We changed our lunch plans. And we moved forward.
Third, we can learn to be thankful. I am thankful my sister-in-law was in the room when the shower door exploded as she was able to help Mom and call for help. I am thankful for the hotel staff who helped us switch their room. I am thankful for the paramedics who arrived and quickly brought Mom to the hospital. I’m thankful for the funeral home who flexed when we had no other choice. I’m thankful for my family who rallied despite the circumstances. I’m thankful that God heals.
Helen Keller’s quote above is very appropriate. At one time or another, there will come a time when it feels like the world is shattering around us. We must have faith that the light will emerge. Keep on hoping. Keep on looking for the light.
You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
Job 11:18 (NIV)
Tuesday morning, September 7, 2021, I was walking a job site for a project my team is working on when I received news that my Grandpa had passed away. While I wasn’t surprised given his recent health, I was still taken aback – sad and happy at the same time. I was sad, because I knew I would never see him again in this earthly life. I was happy, because I knew he was no longer suffering and I would one day see him again in heaven.
I’m still trying to capture all my thoughts and memories of him. Some initial things come to mind:
As I continue to process Grandpa’s life and his passing, I will perhaps have more to share. In the meantime, I thought you might enjoy getting to know him a little better. He has been mentioned in several of my past posts. Here are links for you to learn more:
4 Things I Learned When Grandpa Called Me
Friday afternoon at the end of my workday, I received a phone call from my Grandpa. Grandpa Miller lives in Minneapolis, MN, and I live outside of Philadelphia, PA which means we don’t see each other very often. And I’m embarrassed to admit we don’t talk nearly as often as we should. I think we both share the guilt for our infrequent conversations.
One of the things that keeps us connected is my blog. Every time I publish a new blog post, Grandpa gets an email from me. He keeps tabs on me in part by reading my blog posts.
I don’t know if you noticed or not, but I didn’t publish a single blog post last week. One person did notice – Grandpa. His phone call on Friday afternoon was a call of concern for me. Was a sick? Was I busy? Was I okay? Grandpa called to check-up on me.
Grandpa’s phone call reminded me of several important things….
Always say “I love you” for you don’t know if/when you will see each other again. I recall as a young first or second grader, I had a fear of never being able to see my Grandpa Miller again. He had just dropped me off at school, and he and Grandma were getting ready to travel from Wheaton, IL back to Minneapolis, MN. I remember the school called my home after the school day started to give me a chance to talk with my Grandpa. He ended up walking or driving back to the school before his trip back to Minneapolis just so I could say “I love you.” Now, Grandpa is 93 years old, and the last few years haven’t been kind to him. I don’t talk to him nearly as frequently as I should, but every conversation ends with “I love you.” This is how it should be with everyone we love. We don’t want to live in regret thinking we left things on a bad note.
Renewal Through Shared Disciplines
Recently, I was on the phone with my Grandpa Miller. Grandpa recently turned 94 years old. Physically, he is definitely showing signs of his age. He can’t run around like he used to when he was in his 70s and 80s. And while is mind isn’t quite as sharp as it used to be, I’ve been impressed by how well he is doing mentally and spiritually. During our phone conversation, he shared with me his pattern for prayer….
Teach Me To Count (last week’s post)
This fact has been hitting home for me on a much more personal level these past two or three weeks as my family watches my Grandpa Miller in his last days. At 94 years old, he has lived a long life. He is a retired USPS mail carrier (he loved his job). He served in the U.S. Army in Germany in World War II. He was always very particular about his lawn and his cars for which he always paid cash. Grandpa was frugal. He was a meat and potatoes guy. More than these things, he loved Jesus, and he loved introducing people to Jesus. Over the past few years as his physical body has been failing, he has remained committed to praying (I wrote about this in a recent blog post).
Grandpa is tired and worn out. He is ready to go home – to his heavenly home….
As long as I can remember, I have always taken great pride in keeping a nice lawn. I may have been influenced by my Grandpa Miller who always kept his lawn green and well manicured when I was younger. My obsession with a nice lawn may also have been shaped by my experience as a teenager cutting people’s lawns throughout the area….
8 Things You Need To Know About A Positive Attitude
(This post was more about Grandma Miller, but Grandpa is mentioned in the post.)
When you think of someone with a positive attitude, who comes to your mind?
The first person to come to my mind is my Grandma Miller. Grandma passed away several years ago, but her positive attitude still impacts me. Grandma struggled with multiple sclerosis for most of her life. Her knees failed her. She suffered from seizures. And towards the end of her life, she could barely hold her head up. Despite her physical ailments, she remained positive. She often had a song on her lips, and she was friendly with every single person who crossed her path. If there was someone I know who had a positive attitude, it was my Grandma Miller….
“Every man dies. Not every man really lives.”
William Wallace
I recently watched VAL, a documentary about actor, Val Kilmer. You may remember Kilmer as Ice Man in the hit movie, Top Gun. He’s also played key roles in other movies like Tombstone, Batman Forever, The Doors, and Willow. He had all the success you might expect from a movie start who has been part of many, many movies, and he had the good looks to go with it. Relatively recently, he developed throat cancer which has caused a tremendous interruption to his life and disastrous impact to his voice.
The documentary tells the story of Val Kilmer both before and after his cancer diagnosis, and I think it also provides a glimpse of hope we can find even when life doesn’t quite go as we expect it to. Here’s the trailer to give you a little taste. The documentary is available on Amazon Prime, and I’d recommend giving it two hours of your time.
The documentary was also a reminder that life is fleeting. We don’t know exactly what we might encounter as we journey through life. One thing is for sure, our days on Earth are finite.
This fact has been hitting home for me on a much more personal level these past two or three weeks as my family watches my Grandpa Miller in his last days. At 94 years old, he has lived a long life. He is a retired USPS mail carrier (he loved his job). He served in the U.S. Army in Germany in World War II. He was always very particular about his lawn and his cars for which he always paid cash. Grandpa was frugal. He was a meat and potatoes guy. More than these things, he loved Jesus, and he loved introducing people to Jesus. Over the past few years as his physical body has been failing, he has remained committed to praying (I wrote about this in a recent blog post).
Grandpa is tired and worn out. He is ready to go home – to his heavenly home.
What will you do with time you have left? How will you live your life? Will you live with regret always looking in the rear view mirror of your life? Or will you live with hope anticipating the good things yet to come?
I love how the Apostle Paul encourages us to make the most of every opportunity:
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”
Ephesians 5:15-17 (NIV)
It’s important for us to consider our lives and to make the most of every opportunity.
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
Psalm 90:12 (NIV)
“You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead.”
George Lucus
This morning I woke up to the sound of rain on my roof. I looked out the window and confirmed that it was raining. Should I crawl back in bed? It seemed like the perfect time to go back to sleep. Or should I put on some walking clothes, grab my umbrella, and head out for a walk? This morning after church, I have a gathering with my Toastmasters club (Jolly Road Toastmasters) and another gathering with our small group formed out of the last Dynamic Marriage class that Leanne and I facilitated. I knew I would struggle to get my steps if I stayed in bed, but the temptation was real.
What do you think I did?
That’s right. I put on some walking clothes, grabbed my umbrella, and headed out for a walk.
Keeping our commitments isn’t always easy. It requires us to overcome temptations when they come our way. And sometimes it requires to persist through conditions that are less than ideal – like poor weather, fatigue, and illness.
Today is day 1,219 in my streak of 10,000 or more steps every day. You can bet I’ve experienced all kinds of temptations and less than ideal conditions along the way. And yet, I keep going.
You can do it too!
Maybe you are struggling to keep your commitments to become more healthy, to become more fiscally responsible, to become stronger in a relationship. Whatever it is, decide today to keep going. You can do it. One step at a time. You don’t have to make it happen all at once. The bigger goals we seek are achieved when we attack our smaller goals one at a time – one step at a time. Take that next step. Keep going!
“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”
Galatians 5:25
There is nothing permanent except change.
Heraclitus
I should preface this post with an acknowledgement that I hate change.
Okay, so maybe hate is a little strong. In reality, I like my routines. I like to go with what I know already. Change isn’t the first thing I think of when an obstacle stands in my way.
This week, I made a big change.
I changed from my Fitbit to a new Apple Watch I won as part of a company sponsored challenge. I’ve been using a Fitbit for several years to monitor my daily step count. My current Fitbit has been with me since before I started my streak of 10,000 steps or more each day (today is day 1,212 of the streak).
My new Apple Watch arrived early this week, and I took time to charge it before sliding it on my right wrist. Worth noting, my Fitbit remained on my left wrist. I slept wearing both devices, and I went to the gym the next morning wearing both devices. I must of looked like a real geek, but nobody commented that morning. When I realized the Apple Watch was indeed doing a good job of counting my daily steps, I made the decision to take off my Fitbit and move the Apple Watch from my right wrist to my left wrist. So far, I haven’t looked back.
Change happens. It is part of life. Being able to adapt to situations and organizational “transformations” is necessary to stretch and to keep up with the changing demands of the world where we live.
Change can be exciting if we open our eyes, our minds, and our hearts. Not all change is bad. Change can open the doors to new relationships, new beginnings, and a new outlook on life.
It’s okay to grieve when change happens, but it’s also important to look forward at the possibility that awaits when we encounter change.
One more thing. We are actually called to change. In Romans 12:2, the Apostle Paul encourages us to be changed or transformed by the renewing of our minds. Change is important to keep us growing towards God.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
“Time is the wisest counselor of all.”
Pericles
It’s been a minute since I’ve written anything here which means it has actually been quite a while. Life has jumped in the way which is mostly a great thing. I’ve prioritized other things over writing. And perhaps, I’ve even struggled with inspiration and motivation to write as well.
Over the past few months, I’ve celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary to my wonderful bride. We had the blessing of traveling to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for an unforgettable getaway where we renewed our vows as the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. I went on a family vacation to the Poconos with my wife and two twenty-something kids. I went on an extended weekend “camping” trip with my buddies originally from the Mt. Holly, NJ area. And I’ve kept busy with the pressures and responsibilities of work and home life.
I’ve thought about writing, but it just hasn’t happened.
For example, today marks 1,205 days in a row with 10,000 or more steps. Clearly, I’ve prioritized my walking. It has become a non-negotiable. This was very apparent a few weeks ago when I arrived home from Mexico with some sort of bug that left me feverish, weak, and lethargic. I thought for sure my step streak might be over. Nonetheless, I found just enough energy to slowly walk around my neighborhood until I reached my daily goal. Some might say this dedication to a goal is idiotic or over the top. I say it’s what I’ve prioritized.
Over the past several months, Leanne and I have prioritized working together on our finances. We went through Ramsey’s Financial Peace University class. We now meet weekly to plan our budget, discuss our financial goals, and go over our expenditures. We have made significant progress, because we’ve made this a priority.
When I released my first two books, On Track and Rooftop Reflections, the writing and release of these books became a priority for me.
When I ran three marathons and several half marathons, I prioritized training to prepare for these events.
Seriously, stop for a long minute, and ponder your answers to these questions.
Now, what is it going to take to make these things happen? What are you going to do about it?
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot….”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 (NIV)