The Birds and The Bees – Talking to Your Kids About Sex

I was blessed as a kid with parents who spoke clearly and appropriately about sex.  The summer before I went into sixth grade, I remember my dad taking me camping to Lake Atsion.  It was here that we spent time camping and cooking.  And it was here that my dad gave me “the talk” about sex.  I’m sure it was somewhat awkward for both of us, but this was clearly an important conversation.

From what I’ve heard, most kids don’t learn about the birds and the bees from this type of candid discussion from their parents.  Most kids learn from their peers, from pornographic magazines and websites, and from experimentation.

Leanne and I decided early on in our parenting that we didn’t want our kids learn first about sex from others.  Several years ago at a Family Life Marriage Conference, we picked up a four book series called “God’s Design for Sex.”  Each book is written for a different age group to give parents the tools to talk to their kids about sex with age appropriate material.  Leanne read through these books with Hannah already, and I’ve been reading the books with our son.  As Isaac is in the first weeks of sixth grade, we are finishing up the third book in the series.  There’s been a little awkwardness as we’ve talked about things like periods, AIDS, and about some of the “mechanics” of sex.  (I’m an engineer, I couldn’t help it.)  But our conversation has also been good.

I’m thankful for the example of my parents, for helpful tools like these books, and for the chance to teach our kids about a subject that matters.

How did you learn about sex?  How have you handled this subject with your own kids?

Book Review – The Seed (Finding Purpose and Happiness in Life and Work)

Last night, I finished reading The Seed (Finding Purpose and Happiness in Life and Work) by Jon Gordon.  I received the book through Michael Hyatt‘s blog.  While I’m feeling pretty content with my life and work, this book offered some valuable reminders for pursuing purpose in both.

Gordon uses a story of a man who finds himself caught in the doldrums of going to work every day.  The main character, Joshua, runs into several different people as he travels around for two weeks with his dog, Dharma.  At the beginning of the story, Joshua is given a seed by an old farmer, and he’s told to plant his seed where he finds his purpose.  By the end of the story, Joshua discovers the four levels of purpose and he discovers his purpose.  He plants his seed, and he sees growth and a harvest that has lasting impact.

I didn’t have any major expectations when I opened the book for the first time, but I was pleasantly surprised.  The Seed is a quick read, and I think it’s worth the time to be reminded about the importance of living with purpose.  I would recommend this book.

(Jon Gordon has written several books designed to inspire passion and purpose.  I am most looking forward to picking up a copy of The No Complaining Rule – Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work.)

What are your reading right now?  What’s on your reading list for the rest of the summer?

Book Review: Leadership is Dead – How Influence Is Reviving It

I recently finished reading Jeremie Kubicek’s new book, Leadership is Dead – How Influence Is Revising It, and I would definitely recommend this book to leaders who want to leave a legacy that out lives themselves.  Kubicek contrasts the leadership of those who are self-preserving and those who are self-fulfilling.  He outlines very clearly how a leader can have a much more positive and significant impact on others by giving themselves away to serve others.

It seems fairly basic, but these are concepts that every leader needs to hear again.  I know that I was challenged in my leadership at work, at church, and at home to be intentional and purposeful in serving others and providing positive influence.  I was also challenged with the fact that I need to make sure I’m plugging into people who can have a positive influence on me as a leader, husband, parent, friend, and Christ-follower.

Who is influencing you in a positive way?  Who are you investing in to be a positive influence?

What’s On My Night Stand? (What Am I Reading Right Now?)

As a kid, I was never a huge reader.  I mean, I could read, but it wasn’t my first choice for spending my free time.  Over the past few years, I’ve actually learned to enjoy reading some when I have some down time.  (You may have figured that out with some of my previous book review blog posts.)

At any rate, I thought I’d give you a glimpse into what I’ve been reading lately.

For fun, I’ve been reading John Grisham‘s latest suspense, The Confession.  I won’t give it away, but the general story is about an innocent man who’s about to be executed for a crime he didn’t commit while the real killer comes forward to confess his actions.  I’ve read several Grisham books, and this one as always has kept me on the edge of my seat.  I’m about half way through, so I’m excited to see how it ends.

For personal growth and challenge, I’ve been reading two books by Dave Ramsey, The Total Money Makeover and The Money Answer Book.  In both these books, Ramsey shares tips for helping people to “live like nobody else now, so you can live like nobody else” in the future.  He shares financial tips that he says came from this Bible and from your grandmother.  He dispels the myths about debt and get rich quick schemes.  Both of these books are great tools for anyone who is trying to figure out how to handle their money, how to get rid of debt, and how to save for the future.

Finally, I’m reading a book by Randy Alcorn, If God is Good.  This book addresses questions that many have about evil and suffering in the world.  “If God is good, how could He allow evil and suffering?”  This book is pretty deep, and it’s been a challenge to make consistent progress in this book.  I think it’s extremely relevant to anyone – especially those who have experienced pain in their lives caused by evil or suffering.  I have found the book helpful as I am sorting through my own thoughts, feelings, doubts, and experiences.  I am convinced that God is good, but Alcorn’s book has been helpful in my processing.

Oh yeah, I usually have a few Runner’s World magazines by the bedside as well for quick reference and lighter reading.

So…what are you reading?

Clearing the Bases by Mike Schmidt

I’m a big sports fan.  My favorite teams are the Eagles, the Bears, the Cubs, the Phillies, and the Bulls (I guess I’d throw the Flyers in there as my hockey team).  My favorite players of all time are probably Walter Payton (football), Julius Erving and Michael Jordan (basketball), and Mike Schmidt (baseball).  So when Leanne gave me Clearing the Bases by Mike Schmidt as part of my birthday gift, I was clearly looking forward to hearing what Michael Jack Schmidt had to say about his playing career and about his thoughts about the current state of the game of baseball.

I wasn’t disappointed.

Schmidt talks about the ups and downs of his playing days from his insecurities to his 3 MVPs and World Series Championship.   Schmidt also shares about his feelings about the Steroid area, free agency, and Pete Rose.  (The book was written in 2006, so I would be curious to know if Schmidt’s views on the Steroid era have changed as more information has been disclosed since then.)  It was interesting to get his perspectives and each of these, but this wasn’t my biggest takeaway.

I was first of all surprised by Schmidt’s expression of his faith.  Growing up, I can’t remember hearing anything about his faith, so it was refreshing to hear this.  I’d love to sit down over a cup of coffee or lunch with the legend and talk more about our common bond.

The other thing that had a big impact on me was Schmidt’s discussion about managing.  Obviously, he was talking about managing baseball, but one paragraph in particular spoke to me as a manager and leader:

“The sixth and most important attribute of a good manager – and this one’s a straight fastball right down the middle – is the ability to communicate.  To be a good manager, you must be a good communicator.  That means being able to talk to your players, not at them.  You need to work at relating to them, but at the same time, you need to keep a respectful distance.  Show you care about them personally. You can’t just stroll out of your office into the clubhouse one day a week and fake it; you have to have a consistent presence.”

I’ll be hanging this one up in my office.

If you’re a baseball plan, I’d recommend this book.

Chazown by Craig Groeschel

Chazown  (pronounced Khaw-ZONE) means dream, revelation, or vision.

Here’s the deal with this book by Craig Groeschel.  The book is fantastic!  But here’s the kicker, do not pick up this book if you are not up for a challenge, if you are not up for changing the way you look at things in your life, and if you are just looking for a casual read.  Sure, you can read through Chazown pretty quickly thanks to Groeschel’s easy to read writing.  But if you really read this book for all it’s worth, it will quickly turn into one of the most challenging books you’ve ever read.

In Chazown, Groeschel utilizes a “Choose Your Own Adventure” style to walk you through a path to find your Chazown – God’s vision for your life.  And he leads you to take steps to make your Chazown a reality in your life.  If you read this book, make sure you have a journal, make sure you have someone or some people who can hold you accountable to the commitments you make as a result of reading this book, and make sure you’re ready for life change.

If you’d like to learn more about Chazown, I’d recommend that you check out the website that was designed to help you discover and master your Chazown – www.chazown.com.

I recommend this book.

2 Questions – How Would You Answer?

As I continue through Chazown by Craig Groeschel, I definitely have felt encouraged, inspired, and challenged.  I’ll sum up my overall comments when I finish reading the book, but for now I’m pondering two questions that are posed in the middle of the book:

Question #1:  If money were no object and you could do anything you wanted for the rest of your life, what would you do?

Question #2:  Besides loving, caring for, and ministering to those who are most important to you, what is the number one thing that you believe God wants to accomplish through you?

These are pretty big questions.  How would you answer them?

Plan Your Epitaph

I’m in the process of reading Chazown by Craig Groeschel, and I just finished Part I.  At the end of this section he encourages the reader to finish six statements.  “Forget the past, because you can’t change it.  During those final days (of your life), how do you want to be able to finish the following statements?”  I thought I throw out my initial responses to these statements here (but to be honest I have more pondering to do to fully finish these completely).  I also thought it would be challenging for you to consider these as well.  I’d love to hear how you would finish these statements.

1.  The thing that was most important to me was…

God (first) and my family (second).

2.  People say I stood for…

loyalty, integrity, Christ, and community.

3.  I made a difference in my world by…

setting an example for my own family and other families and by pointing others to Christ.

4.  God was glorified because I…

followed Him and led out loud in my home, in my job, in my community, and in my church.

5.  People knew I loved them because…

I listened to them.

6.  The reason I expect God to say “well done” is…

(tough one) I stuck with it through thick and thin.  I stayed true to Him.  I trusted in Him.  I lived to help others find Him.

Love Is A Flame

Last night, I finished reading Love Is A Flame – Stories Of What Happens When Love Is Rekindled, a book compiled by James Stuart Bell.  The book contains 43 stories about the hope that be found in the ups and downs of marriage life.  Some of the stories talk about keeping the spark amidst the mundane day-to-day efforts of life.  Some of the stories talk about finding forgiveness and grace when a partnership is violated.  And some of the stories talk about dealing with the challenges of life that naturally come along – challenges like health problems, job changes, and raising children.

With some of the recent challenges that I’ve been facing, I could definitely relate to many of these stories.  In some ways, I feel like I could add story number 44 to this collection of stories.  It was encouraging to read about couples who have successfully navigated the mountain peaks and valleys of marriage.

Whether you are a newlywed or have been married for a long time, whether your marriage is clicking on all cylinders or it’s going through a rough spell, I would recommend this book.  It can be a great encouragement, and it can simply be a great discussion starter for you in your marriage.

Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

I just read the first chapter of new book by David Platt, and the first word that comes to mind is “uncomfortable.”  In this chapter titled, Someone Worth Losing Everything For, Platt introduces the premise for his book that the American church is way off target when it comes to the gospel message that Jesus shares in Luke 9.  Platt lays the foundation to challenge the very things we have come to know and expect in our own American lives.  We are beyond rich.  We are beyond comfortable.  We are far from living the sacrificial lives that Jesus discussed and modeled in his public ministry and in his ultimate sacrifice on the cross.

Radical looks like an interesting read, and I will be interested to see how Platt addresses spreading the gospel message in America where people are constantly distracted by the pursuit of the American Dream.

If you’re interested you can download and read chapter one here, and you can learn more about the Radical book at www.RadicalTheBook.com

You can also request a free copy of a companion pamphlet, The Radical Question, by going to www.WaterBrookMultnomah.com/RadicalQuestion