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Milestones
Yesterday was a day full of milestones.
Isaac finished up his time at middle school. Leanne and I had the opportunity to go the an end of the year awards assembly to watch Isaac and his classmates celebrate their achievements from the past school year. It was sad to say goodbye to the middle school where our kids have attended for the past five years. And it’s exciting to envision the future opportunities Isaac will have as he heads up to the high school in the fall.
Hannah finished her sophomore year of high school with a major milestone. In the afternoon, she passed her driver’s exam, and we know have a licensed teenage driver in our house. This is very exciting for Hannah, and it’s a little exciting and scary for Leanne and me.
Life does not appear to be slowing down. It seems like yesterday when Leanne and I were bringing each of them home from the hospital.
I’ve shared in the past about the importance of celebrating these milestones. Our kids are eventually meant to grow up. Heading to high school and getting a driver’s license are just two of the stepping-stones on the way to adulthood. And it’s essential we embrace these milestones.
What’s next? We’ll see. We’re taking it one milestone at a time.
Great job, Hannah and Isaac! We are so proud of you.
If you are a parent, what recent milestone are you celebrating with your kids?
What are some of the milestones you remember from your adolescence? How did you celebrate these milestones?
It’s Official – She Is A Licensed Driver
Hannah just passed her driver’s test!
What was it like to take your driver’s test?
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3 Ways To Respond When Someone Is Unkind To You
What do you do when someone says something unkind to you?
What is your natural tendency when someone bites you with their words?
If you are anything like me, you probably have a less than honoring reaction. You bite back with unkind words. Your goal is often to put the person back in their place with words that sting.
It’s a vicious cycle.
Someone says some unkind to you. You return it with more unkind remarks. It goes back and forth until relationships are damaged often beyond repair. Feelings are hurt, and emotional scars have been left as permanent reminders of the pain inflicted by someone’s tongue.
You are guilty of it, and I am guilty of it too.
So how do we stop the cycle?
I think we can learn a lot from Jesus’ words from the Sermon on the Mount:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.” Jesus (Matthew 5:38-40)
Here are some things we can learn from these words:
3 Ways To Respond When Someone Is Unkind To You
- Resist the urge to respond in kind. I know you want to snap back, but you must resist this temptation. This takes practice, patience, and persistence. When you respond in a similar manner, you are only throwing kindling on the fire.
- Take it, and take it again. Expect more unkind words from the verbal perpetrator. In fact, welcome these words. Sure it will hurt, but you will put the fire of unkindness out by avoiding a response. A fire needs oxygen to be effective. Unkind words are like oxygen on a fire. When you decide not to add unkind words to the exchange, you are helping to put out the fire.
- Respond with generous kindness. It’s hard to frown at someone who is smiling at you. Similarly, it is hard to keep throwing unkind words at a person who is lifting you up. Decide today to be an encourager.
How do you respond when people treat you unkindly? What is one thing you can do to improve your response?
What Would You Like Me To Write About?
Yesterday, I received an email from a member of The Stretched Community. He mentioned an idea for a future blog post.
The idea was interesting, and something I will probably pursue in a future post.
The email gave me another idea: What does The Stretched Community want to read?
So today’s post is all about your feedback.
What would you like me to write about in a future Stretched blog post?
Leave your answer to the question in the comments. Thanks!
Ten Things Every Aspiring Marathon Runner Should Know
When I was in high school, I ran cross country and track for a couple of seasons. Running was not fun for me back then. I ran to hang out with my friends. I did not run to set any records. I never imagined that I would like running, and I certainly never imagined that I would run a marathon (or three marathons).
Maybe you are like me. You are starting to run longer distances. Your friends are starting to encourage you to run a longer race. Maybe you are even starting to like running for the first time in your life.
Maybe you are thinking about running your first marathon. If this is you, here are some things for you to know:
Ten Things Every Aspiring Marathon Runner Should Know
- Running a marathon is NOT the hardest part of completing your first marathon. Training is actually the hardest part of the whole process. You will need to spend hours and hours logging many miles in order to prepare for your first marathon. If you put the training time and miles in, the marathon will be easier.
- Running a marathon requires unbelievable determination. There were many times during my training and during the actual marathons I wanted to quit. You will most likely experience these same feelings. You need to have focus and determination to get through the whole experience. You can do it. And the marathon experience will teach you a lot about yourself and about life.
- A training program is critical to completing your first marathon. You will not be prepared to run a marathon without a training program. Whether it’s a runner’s group at the YMCA or like Team in Training or it’s simply an on-line or written plan like one from Hal Higdon, I think these programs can help keep one focused on doing the right mileage and exercise and rest to prepare for a longer race. I used a modified Hal Higdon plan when I prepared for all three of my marathons. As a numbers guy, I created spreadsheets to help track by progress through my training. I tracked distance and time, and I tracked details about each of my runs and workouts about how I felt, where I ran, and what the weather was like. It was amazing to watch my mileage build up from week to week. (I’ve been tracking my mileage this year, and I’ve run 653.6 miles in 2014 to date.)
- Accountability is a major help in preparing for your first marathon. I found a friend to train with for many of my shorter runs, and I asked several people to ride their bike alongside me for a few of my longer runs. They carried my water and gel packs, but they also provided conversation to distract me when the mileage was getting the best of me. It also helps to have people who will ask me about my training. I have a few people at work and several friends who held me accountable to completing my training. Even though I’m not marathon training right now, they still keep me accountable to keeping up with my running.
- Cross training and rest are essential to completing your first marathon. These are important to build your strength and cardio capacity without overdoing it. I like to ride my bike as one of my cross training activities, and I would recommend swimming and lifting as great cross training activities. I look forward to my scheduled rest days. These give me a chance to recharge. These are just as important as the exercise days. If you run every day, you will most likely burn yourself out.
- Hydration and fueling is important for completing your first marathon. You should practice hydrating and fueling on your longer training runs. While marathon training, I ran with a belt with four water bottles. I filled one or two of the bottles with an energy drink like Accelerade. Practicing eating a gel shot or energy bar in the middle of your longer runs. Find out what works for you and your stomach. I learned that certain gel packs don’t work with my stomach. It’s best to learn this lesson while training and not during your race.
- Setting goals can be very helpful in completing your first marathon. A first goal would be to make it through your training and to the starting line of the race. Next, your goal should be to finish the race. Then, you can start adding time related goals – overall finish time, negative splits, etc. Finally, you might want to add a stretch goal that you can go after if you’re really feeling good.
- Running a marathon can be expensive. Many marathons carry a fee. These fees cover expenses related to promoting and supporting the race. Be prepared to pay over $100 to enter most marathons. (My third marathon, The Thanksgiving Day Marathon in the Bronx, did not have an entry fee, but this is a rare exception.) You also should account for hotel costs, food costs, and any additional race swag you may want to purchase at the pre-race expo. In addition, you will most likely go through a couple of pairs of shoes during your training. Don’t buy cheap shoes. Take the time to go to a running store. They will do a gait analysis, and they will help you find the shoes that work best for you and your feet. If you live in the Collegeville, PA area, I would recommend you check out the Valley Forge Running Company. They have done a great job supporting the running efforts of our family.
- Running your first marathon will likely lead to other marathons and running adventures. After finishing my first marathon, The Philiadelphia Marathon, I was already starting to think about running a second marathon. There is something strangely habit-forming about this experience. If you are getting ready to complete your first marathon, beware – you will likely consider a second marathon.
- Running a marathon is a lot of fun. Embrace the fun part of running your first marathon. The running community is great – before, during, and after the race. Talk to other runners. Find out what works for them. Ask them about their favorite races. Cherish each moment.
Have you ever run a marathon? What did you learn through the experience?
Have you ever thought of running a marathon? What is stopping you from running your first marathon?
Whether you are a runner or not, I’d encourage you to check out my book, On Track – Life Lessons from the Track & Field. You might learn a little bit about running, and you will definitely learn something about keeping your life On Track.
How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
Leanne and I are enjoying the afternoon show at the Walnut Street Theater. What a funny and fun production!
Have you ever succeeded at something without really trying?
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Ice Breaker – Last 5 Movies You Watched
Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.
(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas. If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com. If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)
Question: What are the last five movies you watched?
My Answer: I don’t watch that many movies these days, but I’m always looking for suggestions. Here are the last five songs I listened to:
- The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (my favorite from the list)
- Frozen (What can I say? I have a teenage daughter.)
- God’s Not Dead (a great discussion starter)
- The Hobbit – The Desolation of Smaug (a great movie to see with my son – and we saw it in 3D!)
- Radio (a standby from our movie library)
I’m trusting many of you have seen more current movies. I would love to hear your list. Maybe it will lead to a date night movie with my wife or a fun movie outing with my son or daughter.
Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep STRETCHING!
On Track – Life Lessons from the Track & Field is now available on Amazon in paperback and for Kindle. Click the link below to get your copy today.
As a reminder, I am offering a FREE pdf copy of the interior of the book to subscribers of The Stretched Newsletter. Head over to the main page of the blog and sign up on the right hand menu bar to get your copy today for FREE!
10 Weeks Old Tomorrow
3 weeks ago today, Rio arrived at our house. He is definitely learning and growing.
How do you hope to grow and stretch over the next 10 weeks?
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Get A Job – Parenting Your Kids Towards Life’s Release Points
Last night, I spend a couple of hours helping my daughter deliver her first job applications to potential employers.
Hannah turned 16 in November, and she is a week away from taking the test for her driver’s license. This means she will need money for car insurance and gas. She has done babysitting for a few years, but she has never had a “real” job. (Some of the babysitting jobs I had as a teenager were some of the most challenging, stretching experiences I had as a working young adult.)
We stopped at a local ice cream place to drop off her first application. I waited in the car while she went up to the window. She had the opportunity to speak with one of the owners which I thought was a positive. She was asked to consider whether or not she would work during the school year or not before she submitted her application. With a busy athletic and academic schedule during the school year, this will be a tough decision for her. She then applied on-line for another job when we arrived back at the house.
As I thought about my daughter’s job search adventure, I tried to recall my first “real” job. I cut a lot of grass and shoveled a lot on snow. I was the “caretaker” for an eleven acre piece of property owned by an elderly couple from my church. Then I washed dishes at a retirement center in the community which was connected to our church. I worked for a land surveyor who went to the church where I grew up. I painted one summer, and I worked for a medical billing company. Both of these jobs were with people who went to the church where I went. I don’t think I had to apply for any of these jobs. They were all the result of connections.
It wasn’t I went to college and needed a job that I actually applied for a job. I ended up applying for a job as a dishwasher in one of the dining halls on campus. I don’t remember the interview process, but I must have passed the test. I washed dishes for a couple of months before being promoted to dining hall supervisor.
As a dad, I wanted to jump out of the car and talk to the owner of the ice cream shop. Maybe, I’ll provide a connection that leads to her first job, or maybe she’ll go through the process herself. I want to help and protect my daughter, but I also want to make sure she has the opportunity to grow up.
Parenting isn’t always easy. You raise your children. You teach them. You point them in the direction you feel is right. And then, you release them like an arrow leaves a bow-string hoping they will fly straight.
We are in a series of release points with our kids. They are becoming more and more independent.
I pray for wisdom for my wife and me as we parent, and I pray for my kids as they approach their release points.