Ice Breaker – Age

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

Question:  If you could choose your age forever, what age would you choose and why?

My Answer:  23 was a great age for me (not that the other ages have been bad).  First, 23 represents the number of my favorite basketball player, Michael Jordan.  More importantly, I had very little responsibility at the age of 23.  I also had little understanding of how challenging life could become.  At the age of 23, I was preparing to get married.  I was working at my first post-college job in northern New Jersey and Manhattan.  I was driving a 1974 Chevy Nova for part of this year until I leased a Ford Explorer (bad decision).  I thought I knew it all (was I ever wrong).  23 was a good year.

I’m thankful for where I am now – 29!  (Just kidding, I’m actually 42.)

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!

Don’t Be Afraid To Keep Editing – 3 Reasons To Keep Editing

Last night, I spent some time editing a blog post I wrote last week.  When I initially wrote the post, I was running close to my normal deadline for posting, and I didn’t have a lot of time to review what I wrote.  Admittedly, I didn’t put a lot of time into my introduction.  There were also some grammatical issues that I should have fixed.  Before I made the post public, I had a couple of choices to make:

1. I could have kept the post in my draft folder.  It may have made it to a “real” post someday, or it may have simply been lost forever in my draft folder.
2. I could have pressed publish on the post as is.  Painters or writers never move to artists and authors when they fail to release their product.

These seem like the only two choices, but I think there is a third option.

What if I press publish and then go back and edit and update later?

There is something most bloggers never consider.  Editing after making the post public is often overlooked by bloggers.  After hitting publish on a post, many bloggers are onto the next blog post.  Today, I’d like to help you identify three reasons editing is an important discipline.

3 Reasons To Keep Editing

1. Editing keeps you humble.  When you edit, you are admitting that your initial effort could be better.  This takes humility.  If you are like me, you hate to be wrong.  In a way, editing is the process of accepting that you could do a better job.
2. Editing keeps you stretching.  Editing is a process of learning and growing.  When I sent my book out to and editor and a small list of reviewers, it gave me the opportunity to stretch.  I’m glad I took time to edit my blog post from last week, it gave me the opportunity to grow.

Editing keeps you on a trajectory toward higher achievement.

  Editing ultimately leads excellence.  I feel much better about the final product now that I have taken time to edit.  Editing will take you to a higher level.

Here’s a link to the edited post – 3 Changes That Happen When You Go On A Short-Term Missions Trip.  I’d love to get your feedback on the changes I made to this post.

What do you find challenging about the editing process?  What do you need to edit?

5 Keys To Establishing A Routine That Works

Our kids officially start back to school tomorrow.  They will both be in high school this year.  (How did this happen so fast?!?)

I love back to school time.  It means the start of fall sports, the onset of cooler weather, and the return to routine.

I love routine!

Seriously, I am a creature of habit, and back-to-school means our family gets back into a regular routine.  Getting back into a regular routine can be a real challenge especially after the relaxing summer months.  In today’s post, I want to help you identify essentials to establishing a routine that works for you and your family.

5 Keys To Establishing A Routine That Works

1. Recognize the positives of having a routine.  A good routine can lead to more productivity, better focus, and higher energy levels.  A routine also helps to establish appropriate expectations and boundaries for our time and commitments.  A routine improves understanding and communication in relationships.  And a routine can lead to improved trust between individuals.  Those who thrive on chaos might argue that having a routine is too boring, but I’ve seen the benefits of routine in my house.  And believe me, our house is not boring.
2. Start getting back into the routine before the routine is required.  Our kids have been used to going to bed late and sleeping in almost every day this summer.  The best way to get them ready for the routine of school is to start getting to bed a little earlier and waking up a little earlier the week before school.  For example, if school bedtime in your house is 9 PM but your kids are used to going to bed at 10:30 PM, make bedtime ten minutes earlier each night.  This doesn’t just apply to school.  Maybe you are coming back to work after a long vacation.  If this is the case, find ways to get your body adjusted to the work routine before you actually have to go back to work.
3. Be willing to adjust your routine if necessary.  This is where I sometimes fail.  I become so committed to my routine that I fail to see where I need to make adjustments.  Most likely, your initially established routine is not the best routine.  It’s a great start, but it’s not the very best.  Learn to analyze and adjust.  By doing this, you will eventually establish a routine that works best for you and your family.  When I went to college, I remember playing around with my studying routine to make sure I got the most out of my classes.  Initially, I did a lot of studying in my room, but I soon learned that I needed to find a quieter place to study.  Eventually, I discovered the stacks in the library.  This is where I went when I needed to give my full attention to a specific subject.  This became a routine that paid off with great grades, better engineering knowledge, and solid preparedness for my career.
4. Talk about your routine with your family and friends.  Talking about your routine with others is a great idea for two reasons.  First, friends and family can help hold you accountable to keeping your routine.  Second, friends and family can help you discern where you might need to make adjustments to your routine.  I tell people about my running routine and goals.  This helps me stay on task in meeting my goals, and it’s also helpful in making sure my targets are reasonable.
5. Make sure you schedule breaks into your routine.  All focus, all the time is wonderful in theory, but we all need to take time for relaxation, recharge, and recreation.  We were made to work, but we were also made to rest.  I think this is why God gave us the Sabbath.  This applies to you and to your kids.  Your kids need a break from the rigors of academics and athletics.  Make sure they have a little time to have fun.  Going to see a movie, going out to dinner, or simply playing a game together as a family are great ways to take a break from routine.

September is such a great time find a routine that works for you.  Taking these steps will help you make the most of the season ahead.

How does having a routine stretch you?  How could a routine help you be more productive?

Love With Urgency

There is a lyric from a Mumford & Sons song which always hits me when I hear it…

“I will love with urgency but not with haste.”

(From “Not With Haste” on the Babel album by Mumford & Sons)

When I hear the lyric, I’m reminded of my own need to love more urgently, and I’m also intrigued by the thought of that permeating our culture.  Can you imagine if we all learned to love with urgency?  What would be different?

In today’s world, we are dealing with all kinds of conflict and strife.

I think of the situation in Ferguson, Missouri.  How differently would it look if everyone involved responded with urgent love?  How would the police respond differently?  How would protestors respond differently?  How would the news media respond differently?  How would the citizens outside of Ferguson respond differently?  With a different response – a response marked by urgent love – I have to imagine the situation would be much different.

I think of the situation in West Africa where thousand are sick and dying of Ebola.  How differently would it look if everyone involved responded with urgent love?  How would medical practitioners respond differently?  How would pharmaceutical companies respond differently?  How would those outside of West Africa respond differently?  With a different response – a response marked by urgent love – I wonder if more lives would be saved.

I think of the situation in Israel and Gaza.  How differently would it look if everyone involved responded with urgent love?  I know this is hard to imagine as there has been fighting in this area since the beginning of time.  How would Israel respond differently?  How would Palestine respond differently?  How would the United States government respond differently?  How would families who have lost loved ones respond differently?  With a different response – a response marked by urgent love – I think peace might actually be possible.

I think of the situation in Ukraine.  How differently would it look if everyone involved responded with urgent love?  How would Ukrainians respond differently?  How would rebels respond differently?  How would Russia respond differently?  How would NATO respond differently?  With a different response – a response marked by urgent love – I see productive conversation and peaceful resolutions.

I think of the situation in Syria and Northern Iraq.  I have to believe that loving with urgency could possibly bring about miraculous results.  The ISIS crusade and situation seems quite bleak to me, but maybe it takes someone loving with urgency to break through the barriers which are currently ending countless lives in this region.  How would the United States respond differently?  How would the people the Iraqi government respond differently?  How would the ISIS respond differently?  I know these are crazy questions.  With a different response – a response marked by urgent love – is it possible for harmony in this region?

As the song implies, loving with urgency doesn’t mean acting out of haste.  It is appropriate to be well thought out when responding to challenging situations.  However, I think we too often fail to respond because we either don’t care or we are too concerned that our response will be questioned or unproductive.  It’s time we all start looking around and learning to love with urgency.  If we all started living in this way, the world would be a different – better – place.

What situation in your life would have a different outcome if people involved responded with an urgent love?  What is one thing you can do today to love with urgency?

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  I John 4:10

August 2014 – Top Posts and Commenters PLUS BOOK GIVEAWAY

Here are the highlights from August 2014.  Thanks to everyone who read along and commented.  Your readership and participation in the daily discussions are what make The Stretched Community.  Thank you!

Overall, traffic was up from August (14.26%).  Traffic was down 17.85% compared to a year ago.  The top 10 posts included one post from 2012 and one post from 2013.  If you missed any of these posts, I hope you’ll go and check them out now by clicking below.  The post with the most engagement was a post related to my book project from August 15, 2014 –Ice Breaker – One-Week Look Ahead.

Top 10 Posts:

1. Ten Things Every Small Group Leader Should Know  March 7, 2012 (133)
2. Outlandish Measures – In Response To The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge  August 19, 2014 (106)
3. I’m Losing My Patients – 6 Ways To Rediscover Patience  April 2, 2013 (89)
4. Ten Date Night Ideas  August 27, 2014 (88)
5. 5 Things To Remember When We Say Or Do Something Stupid  February 12, 2014 (65)
6. Seven Things To Do When You Arrive Home From Your Mission Trip  August 11, 2014 (55)
7. What Will Your Verse Be? (In Remembrance of Robin Williams)  August 13, 2014 (54)
8. In Response To Ann Coulter  August 9, 2014  (52)
9. Ice Breaker – One-Week Look Ahead  August 15, 2014 (29)
10. Ice Breaker – TV Sitcom Family  August 14, 2014 (27)

Top 10 Commenters:

• Steve Y (19)
• Larry Carter (17)
• Jon Stallings (10)
• Heidi Bender (7)
• Joseph Lalonde (5)
• Lulu (5)
• TNeal (5)
• Carol Peterson (3)
• sespring (3)
• Bill (cycleguy) (2)

As promised at the beginning of the month, I have randomly chosen someone from the top commenters list to receive a copy of  Next Up: 8 Shifts Great Young Leaders Make by Jonathan Pearson.  The winner of this book is…(drum roll)…Joseph Lalonde.  Congrats to Joe!

For the month of September, I’ll be giving away a copy of On Track: Life Lessons from the Track & Field by ME! This month, the winner will be chosen randomly from the top 10 commenters.

Thanks to each and everyone for reading and for commenting.  I’m looking forward to September with The Stretched Community!  The month of September will include more STRETCHING posts.

If you’re interested in guest posting here, leave a comment to connect with me.

How was your month?  If you’re a blogger share a link to your top post in the comments?  What was your favorite Stretched post this month?  How were you STRETCHED in August?

In case you’re interested, here are a few other interesting stats about August (based on Google Analytics):

• Users – Increased 15.81%
• Sessions – Increased 4.51%
• Pageviews – Decreased 2.05%
• Pages Per Session – Decreased 6.28%
• Average Session Duration – Decreased 25.86%
• Bounce Rate – Increased 6.96%
• New Sessions – Increased 7.02%

On Track – Life Lessons from the Track & Field is now available on Amazon in paperback and for Kindle.  Click the link below to get your copy today.

As a reminder, I am offering a FREE pdf copy of the interior of the book to subscribers of The Stretched Newsletter.  Head over to the main page of the blog and sign up on the right hand menu bar to get your copy today for FREE!

Ice Breaker – Labor Day

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

According to Wikipedia, Labor Day is “a holiday celebrated on the first Monday in September. It is a celebration of the American labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of their country.”  For most Americans today, Labor Day simply represents the end of summer and the beginning of the school year.  Today’s Stretched Ice Breaker is inspired by the original reason for Labor Day.

Question:  Pick one job (not your own) for which you are thankful and tell us about it.

My Answer:  I’m thankful for teachers.  There are many people have influenced me – pastors, youth leaders, bosses, (to name just a few).  Sometimes overlooked though are the teachers.  I can think of so many teachers who have had a positive impact on my life.  From band teachers to math and science teachers, I am thankful for so many teachers who have invested in my life and have made me a better person.  If you are a teacher, thank you for what you do.  I hope you have a great Labor Day and a spectacular school year.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep STRETCHING!

A Face With A Future

What do you see when you look at this face?

This is Rosita.  She is two years old, and she’s the youngest of five children.  Her mother’s name is Betty.  Rosita and her family were the recipient of one of the homes we built in Guatemala this summer.

She captured our hearts.  She’s smart and a little sassy.  And she was thrilled to have us in her life for a few days as we built her new home.

When I look at this picture, I see a girl with a future.  I see a girl with wide eyes and a curious spirit.  She’s not afraid to face the world before her.  And she has so much to share with the world now and in the days ahead.

I can’t wait to return to Santo Domingo Xenacoj, so we can see Rosita and her family.

What do you see when you look at this face?

Ten Date Night Ideas

My wife and I have been intentional in keeping a weekly date night. Monday night is our night. We keep this night sacred just for us.

It hasn’t always been easy to keep date night. We struggled with this especially when our kids were younger, and we had to find a babysitter. Now that we have two teenagers, it is a lot easier to keep our date night. And actually, our kids look forward to our date night now.

A date night helps keep your marriage strong, and it helps show your kids the importance of making your marriage a priority.

When we tell people about our date night, they often ask us what we do on our date nights. They are looking for ideas. Today, I’ll share ten date night ideas which could help you kick-start date night with your spouse.

Ten Date Night Ideas

1. Picnic in the park. Grab a picnic basket, and fill it with your favorite picnic goodies. Throw a blanket in the car, and head to a local park.

2. Miniature golfing. You used to go mini-golfing before you were married. Why stop now? Miniature golfing is a fun way to spend time together.

3. Ice cream. Need I say more? I love ice cream, and there are several ice cream places near our house. I quick trip out to the local ice cream shop may be just the thing you need to do to sweeten your marriage.

4. Hike on a local trail. My guess is that you live near a few local trails. Simply going for a walk together provides time to reconnect after a busy day, and it provides the opportunity for a little exercise in God’s creation.

5. Movie night. Go out to a local theater, or grab a movie at the local Redbox. Don’t forget the popcorn.

6. Coffee shop. Stop by Starbucks or your local coffee shop, and enjoy a hot beverage together. This is an especially great place to visit when the weather starts getting cooler.

7. Dessert only. Go to a fancy restaurant, and only order dessert. You can get the best desserts without paying for the expensive meal. Eat dinner at home first. Then go grab some creme brulee.

8. Star-gazing. After the sun goes down, snuggle up on a blanket in you backyard and enjoy the heavenly sights. Plus, it’s free!

9. Tennis. Besides the initial cost of tennis rackets and the occasional cost of new tennis balls, it is pretty inexpensive to play tennis. I suppose you could make it about the competition, but I’d encourage you to enjoy volleying back and forth. Meanwhile, it’s another great time to talk back and forth over the net.

10. Dinner out. Plan ahead, and go out for a nice dinner together. We used to go out a lot when we were dating, but we’ve cut way back since our wedding. It costs money to go out, so make sure you budget for these types of outings. Once in a while, you need to treat yourself and your spouse.

Date nights are worth it! If you are married, start dating your spouse again.

What is one thing you can do this week to date your spouse?

3 Changes That Happen When You Go On A Short-Term Missions Trip

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Mahatma Ghandi

I have a confession to make.

I hate change.

I’m serious. I like the comforts of the same old, same old. I get up at the same time every day. I go to the gym and run every day. I eat oatmeal for breakfast every day. I drive to the office the same way every day. And it goes on from here. I like routine. I thrive in a life a discipline. For me, change means disruption. It implies an end to what I’m used to. And this scares me.

But what if change is actually a good thing?

For the past three summers, I have traveled with my family on short-term missions trips to Santo Domingo Xenacoj in Guatemala. These trips have helped me to look at change a little differently – more positively.

Today, I want to help you identify three positive changes that happen when you go on a short-term missions trip. I’m hoping you will be challenged to think differently about change and about short-term missions. And I’m also hoping you will consider going on a short-term missions trip to change somebody’s life, to change your life, and to change the lives of those around you at home.

3 Changes That Happen When You Go On A Short-Term Missions Trip

1. You change somebody’s life.  This year, my family built two homes for two Mayan widows and their families.  In Guatemala culture, widows rank pretty low in society.  Mayans also rank very low in society.  And Mayan widows are at the very bottom of the social hierarchy in Guatemala.

The first house we built was for Betty and her family.  I’m not sure how Betty lost her husband.  He may have died, or he may have simply abandoned his family.  Either way, Betty has been left to parent and provide for her family with five children.  This is not an easy task.

The average working Guatemalan makes eight to ten dollars a day.  With this money, they have to pay for food, clothing, and housing.  For the most part, food costs the same in Guatemala as it does here in the United States.  If I buy a gallon of milk here in the United States, it costs about the same in Guatemala.  How much do you spend on groceries a week for your family?  Now imagine how challenging it must be for Betty to provide for her family.  Meanwhile, her family lives in deplorable conditions.  Their house is made with pieces of corn stalks tied together to make up the walls.  There are pieces of metal laid on top of the house.  This is the roof.  And the floor is made of dirt.  The family of six either shares a single bed or they sleep on the dirt floor at night.  It is difficult for a family like this to ever thrive.  They do not benefit from public assistance.  They survive if they are lucky.

As short-term missionaries, we had an opportunity to intervene.  We had an opportunity to give Betty and her family a chance to succeed in the future.  We built a simple house made with a concrete floor, wooden walls, a permanent metal roof, and electricity.  We also provided beds for everyone in the family.  This is the kind of boost family’s like Betty’s need to move from just surviving to thriving.  Betty and her family will experience better health as a result of their new beds and new house.  The kids will be more productive in school which will lead to a better future for each of them.  And they had the opportunity to experience the compassion and generosity through the people who donated the money for the house and through those who helped build the house.

A short-term missions trip gives you the opportunity to change somebody’s life.

2. You change your life.  We all live inside a box.  We often see the world through our own set of lenses – through the window of our own setting.  Here’s the deal:  there is life outside your box.  There is more to this world than what you can see through your window.  A short-term missions trip gives you the opportunity to see this world.

The first time I visited Guatemala two years ago, I saw real poverty for the first time.  I saw how 95% (or more) of the world lives.  I met people who get one meal of rice and beans – if they are lucky. I met people who work in sweatshops for twelve hours a day while earning eight dollars. I saw people who don’t have clean water and healthy cooking facilities. I learned to appreciate the things I had at home.  I learned to have a more open heart and mind to helping those who have less than me.  I stopped chasing so diligently after things at home in our American culture that eventually fade away.  And I started dreaming differently about how my family and I could make a bigger difference in the world.  This trip changed my life.

A short-term missions trip will change your life.

3. You change the lives of those around you at home.  A short-term missions trip is short.  You may go for a week or two to someplace “strange” like Guatemala, but then you come home.

How you respond to your trip will impact those around you.  I have had the opportunity to share so many stories and to answer so many questions because of my experience in Guatemala.  I also see those around me differently.  A short-term missions trip will help you to have a mission mindset for those you interact with on a daily basis at home.  My trips to Guatemala have motivated me to slow down and to be more present in my interactions in my office, in my neighborhood, and in my own home. I have seen how my trips have made a difference in the lives of my friends, family, and co-workers.

A short-term missions trip experience will change those around you.

Now it’s my chance to change your life.  I challenge you to start planning your next short-term missions trip – maybe it’s your first missions trip.  You will never go if you don’t start planning it.  It’s not too early to start planning for a trip for next summer (or earlier).  A trip like this can be the catalyst for major change for others and for you.  If you want to see change in this world, be the change – go on a short-term missions trip!

What are you waiting for?

When Are We Going Back?

When are we going back?

When will we return to Guatemala?

This is a question that is already running through my head, and it’s a question we are getting from our friends and family.

The truth is this – we don’t know yet.

I dream of going back to Guatemala twice a year.  I’d love to go back this year between Christmas and New Year’s.  But there are things that stand in the way:  money, a need to travel to see extended family, family commitments at home, and a desire for a family vacation for the four of us.

And so the question of when we are going back remains an unanswered mystery.

We’d appreciate your prayers for discernment as we consider this decision.

What question(s) in your life is a mystery?

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Matthew 6:33