How Can I Do Better? – Reflections From A Parent/Teacher Conference

Last night, we attended a parent/teacher conference for our son.  As a middle school student, Isaac also had the opportunity to participate in the conference as well.  Isaac had just finished up his first marking period of seventh grade.  He did remarkably well (proud Dad moment) achieving straight A’s.

The conferences were optional yet we decided to scheduled a meeting with his core teachers.  For Leanne and I, it was an opportunity to listen to additional feedback – to hear where Isaac is excelling and to her where Isaac could grow or improve.  Naturally, the feedback from his teachers was all great to hear.  And at the end of the conference, they provided an opportunity for us to ask questions.

Isaac asked his teachers this question, “How can I do better?”

This is a pretty powerful question if you’re serious about getting a true response.  Just because we did “well” doesn’t mean we can’t get better.  I like this philosophy.  When I was in an active design engineering role at my company, I used to ask the installers and the start-up technicians these types of questions.  “How can I improve my design next time to make your installation easier or to make your start-up activities go more efficiently?”  I learned so much by asking questions like this.  As a manager now, I need to keep asking these questions.  I want to be the best manager possible to help my team succeed and to help my team members achieve their personal career targets.

Isaac’s teachers gave him some great feedback in response to his question.  They told him to speak up and to take a more active leadership role in group activities.  They encouraged him to be more creative in some of his assignments.  And they reaffirmed that he was already doing a great job.  Then the teachers turned the tables on Isaac by asking their own follow-up question, “How can we do a better job helping you?”  Isaac had to think about this question.  What a great conference to attend!  It was so neat to see students and teachers discussing ways to get better.  What an example for all of us!

And so, I’d like to ask a couple of questions.  I hope you’ll give me honest and constructive feedback.  It’s part of the STRETCHING process.  I value your feedback!

How can I better serve you – The Stretched Community?  What thoughts can you share to help me improve my writing and The Stretched Blog?  What topics would you like me to cover more often?  Less often?  What’s working well?  What’s not working so well? 

Paying It Forward – Youth Ministry

When I was in high school, I attended the youth group at our church.  Our youth group was called SYNC – Senior Youth Nurturing in Christ.  Part of the reason I attended this group was my dad was the youth pastor.  Did I really have a choice?  Part of the reason I attended was the great friends I had in the group.  I will always remember people like Brian Willem, Mark Redlus, Paul Braun, Pete Braun, Andy Travis, and John Kosydar.  What a crew!

And a major part of the reason I attended was the youth leaders.  I will always remember leaders like Ray and Joann Rivera who consistently opened up their home for late night conversations about life.  I will always remember the Shumates and the Derstines who spent countless weekend nights hanging out with a bunch of obnoxious teenagers like me.  And I will always remember Dave and Nora Kennedy who poured their energy into us while juggling the responsibilities of starting a family.

On one occasion, our group was inside for “game time”.  The adults often joined in with the kids for games of indoor soccer, four square, and relay races.  On this night, we were having relay races up in the Brainerd Room of the church.  Relays involved skipping, running, crawling, and even going backwards from the starting line at one end of the room to a chair located at the other end of the room and then back to the starting line again.  When it came time to go backwards, Dave Kennedy (one of the leaders mentioned above) took his turn.  As he made it to the chair, he lost his balance and proceeded to do one of the biggest crash landings I have ever seen.  When it was all over, Dave popped up, we all laughed, and the relay races continued.

This quick misstep could easily be overlooked as simply being a funny youth group blooper memory.  Yet it means so much more for me.  Leaders like Dave risked rug burn and embarrassment to make sure I had a fun and safe place to hang out.  These leaders demonstrated that we mattered.  They were willing and ready to spend 4 hours a week plus countless hours planning and going on retreats, camping trips, and other special events so kids like me would have a place to hang out.  Leaders like Dave had a huge impact on me in high school, and their impact continues today.

Last night, I had the privilege of being a leader at RIOT (my church’s youth group).  I’ve been attending the weekly Sunday night meetings ever since I came back from Guatemala.  During “game time” last night, we played kickball.  It brought back so many great memories including the memory of Dave Kennedy flopping over the folding chair.  I was the first one up to kick, and I proceeded to kick the ball into play.  As I neared first base at full speed, I had no idea how slippery it would be when I hit the extra-large base that was floating on the slick concrete floor.  Before I knew it, the base slipped out from under me, and I was sprawled out on my back side.  I think the kids were in shock as they saw me flat on my back.  I quickly popped up and the game proceeded.

Over the past three or four months, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many of the kids who come to RIOT.  They come from all backgrounds, and they are dealing with all kinds of home and school situations.  They need adults like Dave Kennedy in their lives who will go all out during “game time” and will lend a listening ear when times get tough.  I’m so thankful for Dave Kennedy and my other youth leaders who led by example.  I hope I can live up to the example they set.

Were you in a church youth group when you were a teenager?  How do you remember your leaders?  Have you thought about diving into volunteer as a youth leader?  What’s stopping you from taking the plunge?

Persevere

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3

How is your race going this week?  How have you persevered this week?  How could perseverance change things in your life next week?

Today, I’m hooking up with The Sunday Community and Fresh Brewed Sundays.  Hop on over here and here to see what I’m talking about.

Michelangelo Quote

Many believe – and I believe – that I have been designated for this work by God. In spite of my old age, I do not want to give it up; I work out of love for God and I put all my hope in Him.
Michelangelo

George Washington Carver Quote

Where there is no vision, there is no hope.

George Washington Carver

Ice Breaker – Giving Thanks at Thanksgiving

Each week on The Stretched Blog, we ask an ice breaker question.  The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community.  I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments.  While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

This week’s question is inspired by a Thanksgiving tradition in our house.  Each year, we put a tablecloth on the Thanksgiving table.  Each person in attendance traces their hand-print onto the tablecloth.  Then they write down five things for which they are thankful – one for each finger.  Over the years, our tablecloth has filled up with hand-prints of many sizes and shapes.  There are hand-prints for loved ones who have passed away.  Each hand-print represents a year of thanksgiving.  We’ve almost filled up our first tablecloth as we’ve been doing this for over ten years.  I’m looking forward to reading your responses to today’s Thanksgiving Ice Breaker!

Question:  Name 5 things for which you are thankful this year.

My Answer:  (1) I’m thankful for my trip to Xenacoj, Guatemala this summer.  This trip was a major leap of faith for me.  Through the trip, I saw God provide and I experienced major stretching as I interacted with the teenagers on the trip and with the people of Xenacoj.  This was certainly a milestone experience for me.

(2)  I’m thankful for the blogging community.  I continue to stretch as I participate in this community as both a writer and a reader.  I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

(3)  I’m thankful for my job.  I’m an operations manager for a company that designs and installs building automation systems.  Besides the technology, I love the people I work with every day, and I appreciate the opportunities I have to help people in their own career journeys.

(4)  I’m thankful for my kids.  Wow!  They keep growing, and they keep amazing me with their talents and with their thoughtfulness.  In many respects, they teach me every day about the importance of putting others first.  They teach me patience.  And they teach me to aim for the stars.

(5)  I’m thankful for my wife.  This is last but clearly not least.  Leanne is my treasure.  I appreciate the opportunities we have to work towards goals.  I appreciate the insights she brings into my sometimes thick skull.  I admire her heart for others – her servant’s heart.  I’m blown away by her beauty.  And I’m inspired by her example of encouragement that she brings to our marriage, to our family, and to all of her relationships.  I am blessed.

There you have it – my answer.  Now, it’s your turn.  Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment.  I look forward to reading your response!

Walking The Tightropes of Life – Balancing Truth and Grace

Last week, my foundations class talked about groups.  The main focus of the discussion was how a solid group setting can be a great place to experience both truth and grace.  Many of us lean one way or the other.  We’re either grace-givers or truth-tellers.  I’m sure I lean more towards the “grace-giver” side.

The reality is that we need both grace and truth in our lives in order to grow and stay balanced.  My friend, Diane Karchner, helped explain this to me one time.  If we have a relationship that doesn’t have truth or grace, the relationship is one that is non-involved.  It’s a relationship where nobody cares.  If we have a relationship that has truth without grace, it’s a graceless relationship.  There is no margin for mistake or error in a relationship like this.  If we have a relationship that has grace without truth, it’s a truthless relationship.  These relationships are solely based on what I want to hear and not what I may need to hear.  Finally, we hit our sweet spot when grace and truth are both existent in a relationship.  This is where true agape love happens.

There are many times where I regret that I haven’t kept this balanced.  I have friends and even family who have needed both, and I have typically failed to bring truth to the table.  I don’t like confrontation.  It’s a lousy excuse, but it’s true.  I sometimes fail to speak up, because I don’t want to rock the boat and I certainly don’t want to be rejected.

It can also be easy to runaway from relationships where I know I’m going to get a little bit of both – truth and grace.  It doesn’t always feel good if the relationship is more based on truth than grace.  I guess that’s why a balance is important.  We need people in our lives who love us enough to tell us the truth and who love us enough to give us grace and a second chance when we screw up.  That’s where I want to be!

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.  Ephesians 4:15

Where /when/how have you experienced truth and grace?  How would a little more truth have been beneficial to something you experienced in the past?  How would a little more grace have been beneficial to something you experienced in the past?

Happy Birthday, Leanne!

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

Proverbs 31:10

Happy Birthday to my wonderful wife.  I am truly blessed!

Rock and Roll – God Rocks, Life Rolls

Life throws us all kinds of twists and turns.  One moment we’re on the mountain peeks and the next we’re dealing with the weight of the world.  Sometimes our ups and downs are simply out of our control, but often they are self-induced by our past actions and decisions.

When life rolls along it can be challenging to find stability.  Maybe we seek escape from life’s turmoil at the gym, at work, at the bar, or on-line.  Many times these escapes simply numb our senses for a short time, but they fail to provide the anchor that we really require to withstand the waves of life.

There is one place we can look all the time for refuge from the storms of life.  In the Bible, God is often referred to as the rock.  A rock is dependable.  A rock is consistent.  It does not change or  move.

I have absolutely no idea what you may be going through today.  Maybe you lost your job.  Maybe you’re dealing with poor health.  Maybe you’re wrestling with relationships that are painful or unhealthy.  Whatever it is, let God be your rock, your anchor, and your refuge today.

When life rolls, let God be your Rock!

I love you, God—
    you make me strong.
God is bedrock under my feet,
    the castle in which I live,
    my rescuing knight.
My God—the high crag
    where I run for dear life,
    hiding behind the boulders,
    safe in the granite hideout.

How To Celebrate Thanksgiving – 5 Ideas To Transform Your Holiday

November has been designated as the month for thanksgiving thanks to the holiday that falls towards the end of the month.  While I’d love to see thanksgiving be better represented the rest of the year, I can also tell you that our family probably concentrates more on giving thanks during this month than other months in the year.  (Note:  The picture above was taken this April at the Thanksgiving Square Chapel in Dallas, TX.)

Here is a list of several ideas which could help enhance your Thanksgiving experience.

1. Run or walk at a Turkey Trot.Last year, I did the Thanksgiving Marathon in NYC which might be considered a little overboard.  Why not get out and run or walk a community 5K?  Many towns across the country have started their own Turkey Trot.  My wife and kids have run one in Latrobe, PA several times.  The races are always fun, and it makes the turkey taste so much better later that day.
2. Invite someone over for dinner.  My guess is that you live near someone who is missing out on family.  They are lonely, and they may not have to means to prepare a traditional Thanksgiving meal.  Why not invite them over to your house?  Usually, there are more than enough leftovers to go around after the Thanksgiving feast, and we can always put an extra chair around the table.
3. Go out and serve.  There are hundreds of opportunities around your community.  The church in my hometown used to hold a Community Thanksgiving Day meal where our family served a couple of times.  This was a great way for my parents to demonstrate that Thanksgiving was so much more than turkey and football.  We had the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those in need.  Why not find a place to serve with your family this Thanksgiving season?  (If you’re in the Perkiomen Valley area, consider joining our H.O.P.E. group.  We gather together twice a month to serve others in our community.  You can find out more about the group by going to our Facebook page (HOPEontheway).
4. Start a Thanksgiving tradition.  For over ten years, our family has been using the same tablecloth for our Thanksgiving dinner.  The tablecloth is white.  Each year, those in attendance trace their hand onto the tablecloth using different colored fabric markers.  Then in each of the five fingers, we write down something for which we’re thankful along with our name and the year.  The tablecloth is now filled with names of grandparents who are no longer with us and with years of thanksgiving.  As we look at the table each year, it gives us to reflect on how God has blessed us even through years of challenge.  Why not start a new tradition this year in your home?  Go buy a tablecloth and some fabric markers today!
5. Make it Thank You Thursday every week.  Matt McWilliams is a friend of mine from the blogging community.  A couple of months ago, Matt wrote about starting a Thank You Thursday Revolution.  In his post, he encouraged readers to write a handwritten Thank You note each Thursday.  Since his post, I’ve been writing a note every week to put into the mailbox of a co-worker.  It’s been remarkable to see the reaction.  We don’t need to be thankful one Thursday of the year.  Why not join the Thank You Thursday Revolution today?  It will change your world and the world of those around you!

This is a start!  What other ideas can you add to the list?  How do you celebrate Thanksgiving?  How can do you plan to transform your holiday?