Jon Stolpe, Author at Jon Stolpe Stretched

Jon Stolpe

Author Archives: Jon Stolpe

God in the Spaces

Today, I have the honor of presenting my dad, Norman Stolpe, as my guest blogger. I have so many things that I could write about in describing my dad. He has probably been one of my biggest writing influences. Dad helped me through my senior year of Honors English in high school. Writing has always surrounded Dad as he has written books, stories, curriculum, poems, and countless sermons. He is a true inspiration to me. Today, he shares about finding God in the Spaces. I think you’ll enjoy what he has to share. To read more from my dad, you can follow him on his blogs: Christlink and Writing Workshop.

(If you’re interested in guest posting on my blog, please drop me a comment. I’d love to connect with you.)

Monastery of St. Scholastica - "Ora et Labora"

My son Jon asked if I would write something for his Stretched blog about how I am being stretched by my current transition. After 35 years of ordained ministry and long-term relationships with three churches (one exception was 2 years), I “retired” from Central Christian Church in Dallas, Texas where I had been the pastor for almost 11 years. I am viewing this as a transition to a new phase of ministry as an interim pastor. I am in conversation with a couple of congregations, and the prospect of serving one of them by September is encouraging, but nothing is definite yet.

I believe I am being stretched as I watch for the presence of God in this in between space. Though I have intentionally described this as a transition, I am learning to accept that other people label it “retirement.” I am anticipating several years of active, full-time ministry, but I am adjusting to recognizing how major this transition is.

My wife, Candy, and I consciously started down this path couple of years ago and worked with Central Christian Church for a transparent, smooth, healthy transition for their pastoral leadership. My last Sunday to preach was May 29, and my successors (Revs. Drs. Steve and Debbie Chisolm) will preach for the first time July 10. God’s hand in that process was gentle but clear to us and the congregation.

I have been amazed at how many seemingly minor details have fallen into place for exactly the right timing as our transition has unfolded so far. I have felt that this has stretched my faith to expect the details will continue to fall into place at just the right time as it becomes clear which congregation we will be serving next. We know we will have an income gap of at least a month, hoping to fill it with supply preaching and temp work. So far we seem to have navigated the uncertainties and ambiguities with minimal anxiety.

However, reflecting on that is stretching me in another direction. I have to ask myself, “Why should I expect my path to be smooth with everything provided at just the right time? Other people who are at least as faithful to Jesus have to endure hardship and deprivation on their paths. I certainly don’t deserve to be exempt.”

In this in between space, I feel the tension between trusting God, perhaps presumptuously, and the pull of frantic activity to bring in income and perhaps force a premature decision about where we will serve. I believe I have to take responsible steps as acts of faith that God is the one actually orchestrating events. I am reminded of the inscription above the door of the Monastery of St. Scholastica (St. Benedict’s sister) in Subiaco, Italy (and other Benedictine monasteries). “Ora et Labora” pray and work. The priority is to pray first. Then work finds its place in harmony with God’s activity.

My patience is being stretched, not in the sense of anxious impatience, but recognizing that church processes move slowly. God is patient too, not just with our individual foibles, but also with the unhurried unfolding of history. With this stretching patience, I am learning to watch for God to slip the smallest details into place at just the right time. As I recognize God’s hand in the details, I am also learning that God’s story doesn’t revolve around me and having my journey unfold smoothly, but that I am privileged to play some part in God’s greater plan. If I will be patient, I will discern just how the details fit at just the right time.

How have you seen God in the spaces of your life?

Be My Guest

I am so excited to share the talents of some great guest bloggers this upcoming week. Over the past couple of weeks, I have shared guest posts by my wife and my son, and it has been remarkable to see the response. Recently, I’ve started asking people if they would be interested in sharing their “stretch marks” on my blog. This has provided an opportunity to hear what others have to share, but it’s also been an incredible opportunity to connect the blogging community. I cannot wait for you to read the posts coming up this week, and I’m looking forward to the feedback and dialogue that will be generated through these posts.

On May 27, 2011, Jeff Goins shared some tips for guest posting on Michael Hyatt’s blog. I think you’ll find this interesting, and I’d encourage you to head on over to see the full post.

Here are seven steps to successful guest posting:

Check the guidelines. Many established blogs, including this one, have a list of guidelines that you can follow to make a guest post. Before submitting your post, read the guidelines and follow them.
Study the blog. Do some research to understand the subject and voice of the blog and to see what topics haven’t been covered yet. If you know someone who has guest-posted for the blog, ask him how he did it.
Contact the blogger. Email is probably best. In the message, get right to the point. Either pitch an idea or send the whole article, but don’t waste time with unnecessary flattery or self-deprecation. Don’t say “sorry,” and don’t be arrogant. Just be yourself.
Write the best post you can. (This may happen concurrently with #3). Once you’ve made contact with the blogger, you can begin writing. Fight the temptation to hold back your “A” content for your own blog. Guest posts are your best marketing collateral, so don’t submit something less than your best. Once finished, send the ready-to-publish post to the blogger with a byline and link to your website.
Follow up. Depending on the guidelines, give the blogger some time (usually a week) before following up. When you do follow up, keep it positive and polite. You can follow up again a week or two later. If you don’t hear back in a month, tell the blogger that you’d like to take the article elsewhere.
Engage and promote. If the blogger posts your article, first thank her. Then, treat it as you would one of your own posts, if not better. Tweet it, share it, email it, etc. Post an excerpt on your own blog and link to the whole article. Interact in the comments and engage readers who respond. This is a must.
Repeat. Whether you succeed or not, start the whole process over again. If you get rejected, don’t get discouraged. And don’t let it be the last time you try to guest post. Sometimes, the topic is just wrong. Other times, it’s the wrong audience. Regardless, you need to guest post more than once for it to be an effective strategy. So, don’t give up.

If you’re interested in joining in and becoming a guest blogger on “Jon Stolpe Stretched”, please drop me a comment. I would love to connect with you!

Thanks!

Are you a blogger? Have you ever had others guest post on your blog? What tips to you have for guest bloggers?

What’s On Your iPod?

Late last year, Leanne and the kids gave me an iPod Touch. I have really enjoyed having this device. I’ve used it to play a few games, to listen to music, and even to help with tracking my weight loss plan. I love listening to podcasts on my iPod. Here’s a list of my favorite podcasts (so far):

1. The Dave Ramsey Show

2. 1 Year Daily Audio Bible

3. APM: A Prairie Home Companion

4. The RELEVANT Podcast

5. Mosaic

6. Central Christian Church

7. They Might Be Giants

8. Focus on the Family: Focus on Marriage

9. Brian Jones Uncut

10. Catalyst Podcast

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones are your favorites?

Where 2 Or 3 Are Gathered In My Name

Last night, was my M.E.A.T. night. M.E.A.T. stands for Men Eating And Talking. This is a small group of men that I’ve been meeting with for almost a year. We meet every week on Wednesday nights at a local diner. Usually, we have five to seven men who show up for a cup of coffee, a dessert, and informal discussion about a hodgepodge of topics. This group is a break from the small groups that I’ve been part of in the past in that there’s no curriculum and there’s not really a designated leader. It’s challenging for me to be part of this group, but it’s also refreshing to feel acceptance and inclusion as a group member and not a group leader.

The last couple of weeks the group numbers have been small. Summer has a way of doing this as people are away on vacation or attending to other summer activities and responsibilities. When I got the e-mails last night that there would only be a few of us again this week, I was tempted to stay home. But I was reminded of this verse from Matthew 18:20 –

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

It turns out that it was a great night to be at the group. I’m so glad I was there to gather with these men – to enjoy good food and sweet fellowship. It wasn’t just the guys – God was there with us also.

Are you part of a small group? What does your summer schedule and attendance look like?

Balancing Excellence and Grace

Monday night, I ventured out to a local church to enjoy the local fireworks from their lawn. The church did a great job advertising for the event. The parking lot was full when we arrived, and the traffic directors helped us find a parking spot quickly. As we unloaded chairs from our cars, we were invited to enjoy free hot dogs, popcorn, and water from a table setup near the church building. We found a place to put our chairs and blankets along with everyone else. And we settled down in our spot as we patiently waited for the fireworks to commence. Suddenly, we started to hear and see some amateur fireworks in the neighborhood next to the church. Then off in the distance over the trees, we could see the tops of a professional fireworks display. These were the fireworks we were waiting for only our view was mostly obstructed by the trees.

Honestly, I was initially disappointed. My wife and kids were looking forward to the fireworks, and I was responsible for bringing them to a place that offered less than spectacular views of the show. I was slightly embarrassed as many people who came to the church’s property were obviously upset. I’m sure many of these people were unchurched, so I’m sure they weren’t left with the best impression. I felt bad for the church who clearly had the best intentions in hosting this event.

It seems like a difficult balance – demanding excellence but allowing for grace.

I know that people like myself expect excellence, and churches have a high standard to maintain in today’s consumer driven culture. However, I hope that people will see an opportunity for grace and realize that this church had the best intentions. I hope that people will see a church that clearly has a gift for hospitality and a desire to connect with the community. (And I’m sure this church learned a few valuable lessons along the way as well.)

When have your best intentions fallen short of excellence? How have others shown you grace when you didn’t quite measure up to expectations?

Transformation Reminders – Looking Back Brings Perspective

Leanne and I on our Fat Tire Bike Tour while in Paris in 2006

Yesterday morning, I enjoyed an eight mile bike ride on the Perkiomen Trail with my wonderful wife. We rode on a section of the trail that I haven’t been on for a while. I used to come here often. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed this out and back section between Spring Mountain and Green Lane Park. I like it, because it’s shaded most of the way, it’s fairly flat, and it’s right alongside the Perkiomen Creek.

As I consider the possibility of ramping up training to run the upcoming Amish Country Bird In Hand Half Marathon on September 10, 2011, I realize that I’ll probably return to this area to log some of my longer runs. Several years ago, I logged a lot of miles on this section as I trained for full and half marathons.

On Sunday, I returned to New Jersey with our family to enjoy a picnic/party with some friends. It was a huge blessing to see these friends and their families again. I lived in this area for almost 17 years of my life. In many way, this is my home (although I don’t have family there any longer). I grew up here around these people. Sure it was somewhat embarrassing to be reminded of some of the crazier things of my youth, but it was also gratifying to hear how my generation of teenagers made an impact on our youth leaders.

Returning to a forgotten section of trail and returning to my hometown area – how do these relate? I think it can be healthy to get back to our roots – to go back to the past.

Sometimes, this can be painful as it reveals broken relationships and failures that we’d rather forget. I get that, and I know it can hurt. But I think looking back can also show us how far we’ve come. It also gives us a chance to renew our appreciation for where we’ve come from in life.

As I look back on the last four years of my blog and the last two months of my journal, I can see God’s faithfulness. I can see areas of challenge and growth in my life. And I can see how God is chipping away at this rockhead – how God is molding me like clay – to be continually transformed into a new creation. Going back reminds me of this fact.

When you look back at your past, how can you see that God is transforming you? Where do you go to be reminded of your past?

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:  The old has gone, the new is here!  2 Corinthians 5:17

Still Stretching – Looking Back and Looking Forward

Four years ago on this Wednesday, I started this blog. So far it’s been quite a ride. Here’s how it started 416 posts ago…

Well, this is the start of it all… I’ve been contemplating doing the blog thing for some time. You might be wondering where the“Stretched” thing comes from. For starters, when I was in high school at Rancocas Valley Regional High School, I was short – 5’6″ to start my junior year. Since then, I’ve grown to almost 6’6″. Many of my friends started calling me Stretch. On a more recent basis, I often feel “stretched” by all the things going on around me – career, marriage, parenting, church, running, reading, friendships, extended family, relationship with God, etc. (in no particular order). My hope is that this blog will provide an opportunity to express some of my “stretch marks” and to possibly hear your thoughts as well. So here we go….

When I look back at all the posts and comments since the start, I believe the blog has served this purpose. Here are some of the highlights: family vacations, Supernanny parenting group, Kids Camp and Stretch, the Perelman building, several movies, Elizabeth’s adoption, blog spotlights, book reviews, small group thoughts, and personal wrestlings. Recently, I’ve also started guest posts which I think will add a lot to my blog experience.

From my tallies, I’ve had over 6600 visits to the blog since I changed to WordPress a couple of years ago, and I’ve had over 300 comments. It’s all pretty amazing.

So where do I go from here? Great question. I think it just continues. I’m quite confident that I will continue to be stretched in the coming year. So get ready, I’m sure I’ll have more stretch marks to share.

Until the next post, I’ll be stretching…

How long have you been blogging? Why do you blog? Please feel free to include a link to your blog so others can enjoy.

Hurry Up – Parenting Thoughts From A Day At Ocean Grove

Yesterday, we took time to head to Ocean Grove, NJ with the kids who just came home from a missions trip to Johnstown, PA. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may remember that this has become one of our favorite places to spend time enjoying the beach (or the shore as we called it when I lived in New Jersey). It was an absolutely beautiful day. We arrived in town just in time to catch the Independence Day Parade as it marched through the narrow streets of Ocean Grove. We managed to find a parking spot just one block from the beach.

Before I got too settled into my beach chair, I ventured out for a 4 mile run that took me up and down the boardwalk between Asbury Park and Avon By the Sea. It was an exhilarating run. I felt as though I could run for another hour.

Back at the beach in between wave surfing and jellyfish dodging, I enjoyed time in the beach chair. It’s here where I relaxed – watching the kids, reading, eating lunch, and talking to Leanne. I also watched and listed those around me. It was amazing to see all the different people. I was amused as I watched kids playing in the sand. I was also amused by some of the conversations going on around us. As I listened to one set of parents trying to get their child to comply with their request to pose for a picture, I was struck by how often we as parents ask our kids to do something quickly. “Get dressed quickly.” “Hurry up and take the dog out.” “Snap to it.”

Now, I agree that our kids need to be quick to listen (like it says in James 1), but I think we sometimes rush them along for no other reason than we just don’t want to wait for them. I’m guilty of this like any other parent. Do we leave time in our busy schedules for our kids to take their time? Does everything have to be done in a hurry? I’m not so sure. It’s definitely something to think about.

What do you think? When was the last time you rushed your kids? Was there a good reason for this?

Detours

Today, I have the privilege of presenting my wife as my guest blogger. Leanne and I will be celebrating our 15th anniversary in less than two weeks. We’ve been through a lot together over the years, and I look forward to the adventures that lie ahead. Her thoughts below are extremely insightful while being very transparent. Leanne doesn’t blog at the moment, but your comments and feedback may help spur her on to share more of her life and story.

This week I took a day off and went to the beach. This is something I used to do a couple of times a year but recently haven’t done for quite some time. So, it was a big deal to me. I filled up my tank with gas. I packed a picnic lunch, and figured out my directions. I put my tunes in the cd player and started on my trip. I didn’t even get on the turnpike when there was a detour – right at the start of my trip!

It reminded me of how this past year seemed like a detour in many ways.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after being treated for a bipolar/postpartum psychosis diagnosis for 10 years. My doctor encouraged me to get a second opinion and when I did, the diagnosis was postpartum psychosis. So, I came off my medicine and gradually began having symptoms which led to a severe reaction. I have spent a lot of the year recovering but have found a greater understanding for people who deal with mental illness but also special needs in general, especially as they relate to children.
I decided to resign as my position of our church preschool director because I missed the children. I found myself spending most of my working hours behind a desk instead of with the children I love. Through tutoring and subbing this year, I have rediscovered a passion to be with students in the public school.
We had to put the trip of my dreams – Africa – on hold, but we have a greater resolve to make a difference in our local community as a family. We are excited for our service group to start-up again this fall. It was also a lesson of control. We quickly learned how much we are not in control of our lives.

In all these things, I am now able to look back and see God working for the good in all things. At the time, life seemed like a series of detours. A friend asked me the other day if life made sense and for the first time in a while I was able to say that yes, right now it actually did. That doesn’t mean that life is without problems and everything is perfect but there’s faith, recovery, hope, and the support of family and friends.

What detours have you experienced in your life? How have you seen God working good in your life through the ups and downs?

(I’m looking for guest bloggers to share their “stretch marks” here. If you’re interested in becoming one of my guest bloggers, please drop me a comment, so I can get in touch with you.)