Book Review: Dear Dad by Sundi Jo Graham (@sundijo)

If you could write your Dad a letter, what would you say?  Would you point out his faults?  Would you have good things to say?  Or would your letter be filled with pain?

I’m excited to announce the release of a new book by Sundi Jo GrahamDear Dad is a memoir written by Sundi Jo which retells her story of losing control, fighting to regain control, and discovering the blessing of giving up control.  It is a letter to her Dad.

Dear Dad is transparent and raw.  It is real and unfiltered.  And it ultimately offers hope for anyone who has endured pain and hardship.

Honestly, I couldn’t put Dear Dad down once I started reading it.  Sundi Jo does an amazing job sharing her story.  She draws you in immediately.  As I read the story of her healing process, I found myself cheering for Sundi Jo and excited to see how the story ends.

Tomorrow is officially the release day for Dear Dad.  The book is available in paperback and Kindle.  If you order the book this week, you can get six free gifts worth over $65.  Click here to learn more.

Dear Dad definitely has my recommendation.  I received the book for free as part of the Dear Dad Launch Team.  I was not required to provide a positive review.  Dear Dad is one of my favorite books so far this year.  Order your copy today!

What would you say to your Dad today if you could say anything?

Book Review: Are You Living Or Existing? by @KimanziC

Do you ever feel like you’re just coasting along?

Is that really how you want to live your life?

Part of the reason I write The Stretched Blog is to share my stretched experiences and to hopefully stretch others (for more read my About page).  I’ve come to realize that you’re not really living unless you’re stretching and growing.

In Kimanzi Constable’s new book, Are You Living Or Existing?, he shares 9 steps that can take you from just existing to living a life with passion.  In the book, Kimanzi relates his story of moving to Hawaii along with his struggles with weight loss to readers who are interested in taking their lives from coasting to gaining real traction.  The book talks a lot about making dreams a reality.  Kimanzi offers practical action steps towards achieving your dreams.

Are You Living Or Existing? is set up in nine easy to read chapters that make this a quick read for most.  If you’re feeling stuck on the road to fulfilling your dream, I’d recommend picking up a copy of this book which will give you some practical ideas on how to proceed.

This book will be available starting Wednesday, May 1st.  If you order the book between May 1st and May 19th, you can get over $100 in additional goodies by sending your receipt to sales@talesofwork.com.

What is your dream?  How are you pursuing your dream?  What progress have you made in pursuing your dream in the past 90 days?

[I received this book free of charge from Sound Wisdom Publishing in exchange for a review.  I was not required to provide a positive review.]

Book Review: The Connecting Church 2.0 by Randy Frazee

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to hear Randy Frazee speak at a Willow Creek Grouplife Conference, and I was challenged and inspired by his teaching and his book, Making Room for Life: Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected Relationships, which challenges readers to restructure their days to make more room for relationships and for life in general.

In The Connecting Church 2.0: Beyond Small Groups to Authentic Community, Randy Frazee does it again!

Frazee challenges readers to rethink church, small groups, neighborhoods, and community in general.  The Connecting Church 2.0 starts with the premise that we were created for community.  In the book, Frazee starts with God as he shows that God models community through the trinity.  He then shows how the early church provided a great example of community as God intended it.

Obviously, things have changed quite a bit since the early church.  And over the past few decades, neighborhoods and community as they once were has deteriorated as people have moved out towards the suburbs with larger yards, longer commutes, and less time to hang out with others.  We’ve become a society of individuals instead of community.

In The Connecting Church 2.0, Frazee challenges the recent trend with new thinking about an old model.  He offers ideas for how the church can help restore authentic community in the busy, “me-first” society in which we all live.

I would definitely recommend The Connecting Church 2.0 as a place to start in challenging your thinking about church, community, and life in general.  If you’d like a chance to win this book, click here.  Or you can purchase the book, my clicking the link below.

How would you’re life be different if you decided to live your life within five miles of your home?  What is one thing you can do TODAY to foster community in your life?  What is your church doing to encourage authentic community?

[I received this book free of charge from Cross Focused Reviews in exchange for a review.  I was not required to provide a positive review.]

Love Works Wednesday Link Up Conclusion

Today marks the conclusion of the Wednesday series based on Love Works by Joel Manby.  Some of you maybe happy; some sad; and some just plain indifferent.  In today’s post, Bill Grandi (The Cycleguy) and I wrap up this 10 week discussion.  I hope you’ve learned something along the way and been challenged as well.  Check out Bill’s take by clicking here.

To help you recap, here are the posts from the series:

What did I learn from this series?  Ten weeks go by pretty quickly.  It has been a real pleasure to link up with Bill on a regular basis like this, and it’s been very interesting to get your input into the discussion each week through the conversation in the comments.  Bill’s posts tended to focus on leadership from a ministry perspective, and my posts leaned more towards corporate leadership.  I think it has been reaffirming to see that love based leadership can apply to various locations of leadership – the church, the office, the home, and elsewhere.  Though I had read the book before, I was reminded that you and I can make a difference when we choose to lead with love.

Now it’s your turn.  What is one thing you learned through this series?  What principle stretched you the most?  How has your leadership been transformed by Love Works?

Book Review: Platform by Michael Hyatt

Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World by Michael Hyatt provides a step-by-step guide for getting people to listen to what you have to say.  This book has been on my “To Read List” for sometime.  I’m glad a finally got the chance to read Platform, and it will be a part of my library that I go back to again and again.

In Platform, Michael Hyatt writes over 50 chapters that will help readers get noticed in today’s social media driven world.  Each of these chapters which reads like a blog post can stand alone but when put together provide a comprehensive look at growing your platform.  As a fellow blogger, Michael Hyatt’s story and advice relate pretty well to my own platform.  Even if you’re not a blogger, Hyatt’s knowledge can be applied to those who are creating a podcast, a book, a blog, or anything else that involves your voice.

Platform has definitely left me with lots to think about, and it’s an essential reference for bloggers, authors, and speakers.  I’d recommend Platform to anyone who wants to get noticed in this noisy world.

How could establishing and growing your platform help you to get heard?  What do you have to share that is worth being heard?  What’s your platform?  What would a platform make possible for you?

Love Works Wednesday Linkup Week 9

We continue the Wednesday series based on Love Works by Joel Manby.  In today’s post, Bill Grandi (The Cycleguy) and I are discussing the tenth chapter (A Choice You Make).  Check out Bill’s take by clicking here.

Since I already read the book, I thought it would be interesting to highlight some of the sentences I underlined when I read the book initially:

  • “’Profitability is a necessary condition for existence and a means to more important ends, but it is not the end in itself for visionary companies.  Profit is like oxygen, food, water, and blood for the body; they are not the point of life, but without them, there is no life.’”  Jim Collins – Author of Built to Last (p. 171)
  • “Enduring and successful companies are more ideologically driven and less purely profit focused than companies that don’t perform as well financially.”  (p. 171)
  • “‘There are two essential activities that take time:  developing an organization and developing a brand.  Those activities are parallel and interdependent.  Leadership is about teaching an organization what you stand for; brand building is about teaching millions of consumers what you stand for.  Leadership and brand building require time, consistency, and constancy.’” Joe Kennedy – CEO of Pandora  (p. 173)
  • “Shaping corporate culture is up to individuals across the hierarchy, no matter what their job title is.  Any of us can make a real difference.” (p. 175)
  • “Never lose an opportunity to bring sunshine into the life of another.  A few encouraging words could make a huge difference in someone’s life. (p. 176)
  • “Leading with love is too important to be left to chance.  It takes effort to lead with the principles of love – to be patient, kind, trustful, unselfish, truthful, forgiving, and dedicated.”  (p. 182)

We live in a time of entitlement – at least here in America.  People think that things should be handed to them and that the hard work of making things better belongs to others.  Many people are looking to their organizations, to other organizations, and to the government to take the leading role in changing the world.

While organizations and political entities may play a role in this change, I’m convinced that true change will only happen when individuals stand up and decide to take action.  Love based leadership is up to you and me.  We can’t wait for others to jump on board and take charge.  We have to be the trailblazers in our companies, in our churches, in our communities, and even in our homes.

We all have a choice to make.  We can sit around waiting for the world to change.  Or we can be the change that the world needs.  It starts with us leading with love.  As Manby states in this chapter, it doesn’t matter whether you’re the CEO, a mid-level manager, a front-line employee, or the janitor.  How you live and act will impact your span of influence.  From there it will spread like ripples in a still pond until the whole body of water is impacted.

Choose today to lead with love.  Choose to make a difference.  Choose to set the tone where ever you are today.

Next week, Bill and I will conclude our exploration of Love Works and love based leadership.  It’s been a great adventure.  Be sure to check out next week Wednesday’s post for the conclusion of the series.  (And don’t forget to stop back every day between now and then for more great Stretched content.)

How will YOU make a difference TODAY?  What will you do to lead with LOVE today?  What difference have you seen around you when one person decides to take action?

Love Works Wednesday Linkup Week 8 – Dedicated

We continue the Wednesday series based on Love Works by Joel Manby.  In today’s post, Bill Grandi (The Cycleguy) and I are discussing the ninth chapter (Dedicated:  Stick To Your Values In All Circumstances).  Check out Bill’s take by clicking here.

As a reminder, Manby’s premise is that leadership is best when it comes from a position of agape love based on I Corinthians 13 (“…[love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”).  Since I already read the book, I thought it would be interesting to highlight some of the sentences I underlined when I read the book initially:

  • “One of the primary roles of a leader is to give hope.”  (p. 150)
  • “A leader needs to clearly communicate how the organization will win in a competitive marketplace and then execute that plan.”  (p. 150)
  • “We need to care HOW people achieve their tasks, not only IF they achieve them.”  (p. 150)
  • “‘Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.’” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (p. 153)
  • “Love and power must be harnessed together to get the most important things done.”  (p. 153)
  • “The USE of power need not become the ABUSE of power.”  (p. 154)
  • “Leading with love is more important than the temporary approval of your coworkers.”  (p. 155)
  • “Many organizations talk about values, but few truly integrate those values into how leaders are evaluated and chosen and how organizational results are measured.”  (p. 156)
  • “It’s critical to define the values that will drive our lives…. What kind of person do we want to be?  What values will we uphold?  What kind of integrity will we have when nobody is watching?  How do we want to treat others regardless of how they treat us?”  (p. 156-157)
  • “It’s one thing to TALK about values like leading with love, but it’s another thing to DELIVER on those values, especially in tough times.”  (p. 164)

When we think of dedication, we typically think of someone who is committed to someone or to an organization.  We think of someone who comes in early and stays late.  We think of team members who consistently go the extra mile.  Most managers I’ve encountered in the corporate world would be considered dedicated by this definition.

Joe Manby takes it to another level with his discussion in chapter 9.  According to Manby, a dedicated leader is someone who leads out of solid values.  There are several leaders I’ve encountered in the corporate world that lead out of a value-focused position, and there are many leaders who don’t seem to be concerned with values as much as climbing over whoever to get to the top and crushing the competition.

I thoroughly appreciate Manby’s take on power and love.  Leaders can get a bad reputation when they misuse their power.  I’m convinced that a love-based, value-focused use of power  will not only improve leader reputation, it will lead to the overall enhancement and advancement of the organization, the employees, the customers, the stockholders, and the community at large.

When you and I hear the word “dedicated”, we must get past the hard-working, tunnel-visioned definition.  Starting today, let’s define “dedicated” to mean so much more.

Over the next two weeks, Bill and I will conclude our exploration of love based leadership.  I hope you’ll read along, jump into the comments, and maybe even change the way you lead.  Consider getting a copy of Love Works for yourself, and see how this book might change you and your leadership.

What is one thing you can do differently this week to become a more dedicated leader?  How have you been led with dedicated, love-based leadership?

Book Review: SELAH by Joseph Iregbu

What does SELAH mean?  I’ve seen the word before.  If you read the Psalms, SELAH is a word often found at the beginning of a Psalm, and the word is sometimes used in the middle of a Psalm as if to break up the passage.

I looked up SELAH in a couple of dictionaries, and they both indicated that the translation of this Hebrew word wasn’t completely clear.  I get the picture that SELAH is meant to indicate pause or break.  It’s a call to attention – “stop, be alert, pay attention!”

My friend, Joseph Iregbu, recently wrote a new 90-day devotional eBook called SELAH.  In the book, readers are encouraged to stop for a moment and to pay attention to the grace and hope in our lives.  In a world where we are bombarded with messages of despair, destruction, and ridicule, SELAH refreshes the sole with brief, daily messages that point readers to the grace and hope that comes as we put our faith in God.

If you are looking for a way to rekindle your faith – if you are going through a time of discouragement – if you simply need something new in your daily experience to point you to the truths of grace and hope, I’d recommend that you pick up a copy of SELAH.  The book is available on Amazon starting tomorrow.  For more information on SELAH, check out the book’s website by clicking here.

When was the last time you stopped and paused long enough to be refreshed and to hear from God?

(Note:  I am part of the launch team for SELAH.  I received this book for free.  As part of the launch team, I was not required to write a positive review for this book.  I truly enjoyed the book, and I’ve even used it to lead devotions for my small group.)

Love Works Wednesday Linkup Week 7 – Forgiving

We continue the Wednesday series based on Love Works by Joel Manby.  In today’s post, Bill Grandi (The Cycleguy) and I are discussing the eighth chapter (Forgiving:  Release The Grip Of The Grudge).  Check out Bill’s take by clicking here.

As a reminder, Manby’s premise is that leadership is best when it comes from a position of agape love based on I Corinthians 13 (“…[love] keeps no record of wrongs”).  Since I already read the book, I thought it would be interesting to highlight some of the sentences I underlined when I read the book initially:

  • “I am not suggesting that we toss out our organizational standards and goals – simply that we keep our hearts soft enough to be open to forgiveness.”  (p. 140)
  • “Forgiveness releases you, not the person you are forgiving.”  (p. 146)
  • “An act of forgiveness is a pebble in the pond, and the ripples can continue far beyond our ability to know.”  (p. 146)

Forgiveness is an interesting topic when it comes to the marketplace.  So much of the corporate world is cut-throat and leaves little time for forgiveness and restoration.  If something or someone isn’t working out, they are quickly discarded.  And if someone wrongs the company, they are removed and their reputation is run through the mud.

As a manager in the corporate world, I see both sides of the forgiveness fence.  I have a responsibility to be a good steward of the company’s resources, and I am tasked with making decisions for the betterment of the company.  I am sometimes faced with employee issues that require tough decisions, disciplinary action, and removal from the company.  I also have a responsibility to my team.  I need to support them, to help them succeed, and to push them to improve performance.

I’m proud to work at my company and in my department.  Within the department management team, I have seen a desire for restoration whenever possible.  In the restoration process, forgiveness happens to the extent that an employee is encouraged to progress past previous lapses.  When an employee is open to personal changes, it is often possible to retain an employee, to forgive them, and to restore them to good standing.

Obviously, there are times when this isn’t possible.  If an employee is intentionally harming the company or threatening the well-being of fellow employees, it may be necessary to release an employee from the company.  Even when this happens, we can learn to forgive.

Failure to forgive can leave us crippled by the past.  How we respond with forgiveness impacts our own leadership in the office, at church, or in the home.  As leaders, we are an example.  I want to model forgiveness for those I lead.
Over the next two weeks, Bill and I will continue to explore love based leadership.  I hope you’ll read along, jump into the comments, and maybe even change the way you lead.  Until then, consider getting a copy of Love Works for yourself, and see how this book might change you and your leadership.

What is one thing you can do differently this week to become a more forgiving leader?  How have you been led with forgiving, love-based leadership?

Truth: Love Works Wednesday Link Up Week 6 – Truthful

Today is Day 3 of Truth Week here on The Stretched Blog, and we continue the Wednesday series based on Love Works by Joel Manby.  In today’s post, Bill Grandi (The Cycleguy) and I are discussing the seventh chapter (Truthful:  Define Reality Corporately And Individually).  Check out Bill’s take by clicking here.

As a reminder, Manby’s premise is that leadership is best when it comes from a position of agape love based on I Corinthians 13 (“…[love] rejoices with the truth”).  Since I already read the book, I thought it would be interesting to highlight some of the sentences I underlined when I read the book initially:

  • “If we love our team, it is critical that their talented voices are heard and their opinions considered.” (p. 118)
  • “Most people don’t leave because of poor performance; they leave because they don’t feel valued.” (p. 118)
  • “Leading with love also means doing the best thing for the organization to protect or add as many jobs as possible for those we care about.”  (p. 118)
  • “A healthy organization does the most good for the greatest number of people.”  (p. 118)
  • “[People] need truthful, direct feedback and follow-up to help them refine their performance and attitude to become fantastic – not just good – leaders.”  (p. 121)
  • “Leading with love means caring enough about an individual or a team to give and solicit truthful feedback.  When leaders provide their teams with the truth about their performance as well as the tools to be successful, regardless of personal feelings, this is a sure sign of leading with love.”  (p. 122)
  • “There is almost no greater gift in life than honest friends, and all leaders need to hear the truth about who they are and the nature of their strengths and weaknesses.”  (p. 130) [Great follow-up to yesterday's post - Truth:  Truth Or Dare.]
  • “Leading with love begins with an honest assessment of yourself, and self is the one person you can never be absolutely honest with.”  (p. 130) [Ties into Monday's post - Truth:  You Can't Handle The Truth.]

Getting truthful feedback and giving truthful feedback is essential to leading well.

Leaders who hole themselves up in their “ivory” offices or cubicles without mingling with their team will soon lose touch with the truth they need to hear, and they’ll fail to get their messages of truth across with any kind of effectiveness.

Honestly, I have felt this way at times in my own leadership in the corporate world.  Policies and procedures easily become the focal point instead of people.  Our leadership loses its way when policies push aside people.  This is the same for companies, schools, churches, and government.

When it comes down to it, leaders must open their ears to hear what their employees have to say.  They must open their mouths to extend truthful feedback to their team members.  And they must take action in a way that demonstrates they have listened and in a way that models desired behavior.

Here are five simple suggestions for encouraging truth in your organization:

  1. Provide a platform for team members to voice their ideas, concerns, and questions.  This could be an employee survey, a department meeting, a suggestion box, or a one-on-one meeting.  As Manby shares in this chapter, this step is absolutely critical so our team members know that they are valued.
  2. Be truthful with your team members.  On a broader level, share details that impact the whole team.  This could be done at a Town Hall meeting, a department meeting, or through an e-mail.  On an individual level, meet with team members on a regular basis. Use this time to provide updates on performance progress and to address any specific corrections.  Don’t shy away from these opportunities as they provide an opportunity to help team members grow and develop.
  3. Take action and draw team members into the solution.  When ideas or problems come up that require action, get your team involved to brainstorm ideas and to implement steps for correction or improvement.  This will show the team that you care and it will help team members to embrace the solution.
  4. Don’t rest on your laurels.  Just because something worked at one time doesn’t mean it will continue to work without attention.  Being true to our organizations, team members, and to ourselves requires continuous monitoring and continuous improvement.
  5. Document.  Document.  Document.  It’s so important to document feedback to and from team members.  This is one method for holding each other accountable to actions required of the truths uncovered along the way.  Following up with e-mailed meeting minutes is a great way to capture truth and to make sure everyone is in agreement.

Part of leading with love involves leading with truthfulness.  As leaders, we have a tremendous opportunity and responsibility to make sure truth prevails in our organizations.

Over the next three weeks, Bill and I will continue to explore love based leadership.  I hope you’ll read along, jump into the comments, and maybe even change the way you lead.  Until then, consider getting a copy of Love Works for yourself, and see how this book might change you and your leadership.

What is one thing you can do differently this week to become a more truthful leader?  How have you been led with truthful, love-based leadership?