Fences | Jon Stolpe Stretched

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This weekend, our family worked together to fence in our garden. We used 34 fence posts, 150 feet of fencing, and some fishing line. We’ve had a garden for many years, but the last several years have been a bit frustrating as we’ve had to defend against groundhogs and deer. We’ve tried a few other remedies like deer repellant, have-a-heart traps, and hair clippings. But we’ve still dealt with produce that has been mowed down in the middle of the night by the animals that live in our area. So far, the fence seems to be working.

We live in a time when people tout the benefits of living beyond our dreams and our boundaries. I’ve even written a few blog posts about the benefits of stretching outside our comfort zone. But there’s another side of the equation that needs to be looked at from time to time. Fences are important tools in our lives. We need fences in our lives to keep out the “critters” that can damage our lives. We need fences in our lives to keep us from journeying into unsafe territory. And sometimes we need fences in our lives to remind us what things are our business and what things are not our business. With this in mind, here are a few ideas for establishing appropriate fences in our lives.

3 Ways To Set Appropriate Fences In Our Lives:

1.) Set personal boundaries. We need to be smart enough and bold enough to set up our own fences. For example, Leanne and I have a “rule” that we will avoid meeting alone with members of the opposite gender. Rules or boundaries like this keep us from journeying into unsafe territory.

2.) Find accountability. Is there someone in your life (other than your spouse) who knows the true condition of your heart. Someone like this will ask the tough questions and will also give us early warning signs when our fences need repair.

3.) Spend time in God’s Word and in Christian community. These actions keep us growing and alert to God’s business. When we know God’s Word and experience this type of community, our fence is used more effectively. Our fenced in area becomes a refuge and a safe house where we can be restored and re-energized for service to those outside the fence.

What are the pluses and minuses of having a fence? Do you have a fence around your yard? How do you keep the “critters” out?

http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

We just put in a garden this year and have been thinking of putting up a small fence around that area. Wouldn’t need to be big but not sure if it would keep the bunnies and squirrels out.

I see a couple of pluses to having a fence. It discourages those who are out to do harm from getting in. Gives you a bit of privacy. And offers protection. It also keeps one of our dogs in the yard (the other one became smart and learned how to jump it).

Growing up we had a wooden fence. You couldn’t see in or out. That’s a negative. It also can give the appearance that you’re not open to others. That you want to keep others out.

And we currently do have a fence around our yard. It’s a chainlink fence so it’s not as off-putting as the old wooden fence but still feels like we’re keeping people away.
http://www.facebook.com/michael.shaw18 Michael Shaw

Jon: This is a great blog post and you make some excellent points. If you will allow me, I would like to add just a bid of my own thoughts.

One of the most challenging fences we have to build in our times is a fence around the mass media. We are surrounded by TV, the Internet, magazines, advertisements and they have an influence on us that is subtle and profound.

TV to me is a wasteland and not hard to ignore, but there are some great writing and film out there. The problem is, even though I like to think am a social liberal, the mass media perpetuates some ideas as basic assumptions that to me are not acceptable.

One good example is the way people of faith, especially Bible-based faith, be they “Evangelical Christians” or “Ultra Orthodox Jews” are portrayed in the media; often it is in a very negative light. They look for the worst and report it with glee.

Where do I draw the line? How do I take what is good from a mass-communication society and filter out what is harmful? How can I be open minded while protecting myself from ideas that can be spiritually harmful?

It is ironic that I find individuals who think differently than I do much less threatening than a vague, amorphous “media.”

I am wondering if you or any of your readers have any thoughts on this.
http://www.brandongilliland.com/ Brandon Gilliland

Awesome post! I loved your analogy here. It is important to set fences for boundaries. I totally agree. This post has sparked some ideas for new blog posts for me.

Thanks for sharing!
http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

Your post reminds me of a line I’ll be posting tonight in an article about lessons learned from a local country music festival. “Consistency gives passion boundaries.” I could easily reword that to “Fences give passion boundaries.”

As to your illustration in “set personal boundaries,” I’ve maintained that rule as a pastor in my previous life and as a writer now. Last week, a female friend dropped by the house when my wife was gone. I met her at the door but never invited her in. Nothing would have happened but I don’t want either of our reputations smeared in our small town. Another instance happened while attending a public forum. A mother knew I was leaving early and asked, “Will you take Anna home?” I didn’t have to answer that because, after a moment’s hesitation on my part, she said, “Oh, never mind. Anna wouldn’t be comfortable with that either.”

One pastor friend violated that rule against my better judgment. She was single and spending time with a man going through a divorce. I recommended she not see the man alone. She ignored my counsel, lost the respect of her congregation, and eventually was asked to resign her position.

Good, sound advice. Thanks, Jon, for sharing it.
Barbarajanderson

Your topic brings to mind the story in Song of Solomon of the “little foxes” spoiling the vineyard. Have to read that book before the end of the day.
I have equated keys with your fences, primarily preserving the key at the end of the day, or at mealtime, whenever we needed to lock the world out and protect family time.
Enjoyed your message!
http://www.eileenknowles.com Eileen

Boundaries are important and healthy. We have a fence around our yard but we still can’t manage to keep the critter out who has been getting into our trash can. I’m fairly certain it’s a raccoon. I think it’s the only thing that could manage to get the lid off.
http://deuceology.wordpress.com Larry Carter

No fences. The coyotes come through our yard every nightm
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