Week 2 – Respect
Icebreaker Question: Tell the group about a person who you respect and describe why you respect that person.
There are many people in my life who I respect for all kinds of reasons. I respect my parents and my wife’s parents. I respect by boss. I respect those in the church who are in leadership. I respect my teachers. I respect the political leaders throughout our country. One person who I respect is Ray Rivera. Ray was one of my youth leaders at the church where I grew up in New Jersey. I looked at him as an authority figure, as a spiritual guide, and as a family friend. Ray and his wife Joann always had time for me if I needed someone to talk with. While I knew that he wasn’t perfect, I saw him making good decisions and leading with integrity and with a servant’s heart.
It’s wonderful that we have people in our lives like Ray Rivera – people who deserve respect not just because of their positions of authority but also because of their actions.
- admiration for a person or entity because of perceived merit
- regard for the rights of others; tolerance
- to have respect for.
- to have regard for the rights of others.
- to consent to abide by an agreement.
As defined at: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Respect
As parents, God has put you in a position that warrants respect. One of the Ten Commandments instructs us to give honor to our parents. As our children continue to grow, they begin to strive for respect from their parents and from others. One thing to remember is that respect is not given, it’s earned. Have you led your kids in a way that deserves respect? If not, there is hope! It’s never too late to make a change. Also, it’s important to understand that the positive steps you take today will have an impact for the long haul. When you positively parent your kids, you are not just impacting them. You are making a difference for generations to come.
This week we’ll tackle the subject of respect in our families. The Supernanny DVD clips will give us a glimpse into a family struggling with some respect issues. The DVD will also point to the importance of respect in our homes. Take a seat, grab your favorite movie candy, and think about Aretha Franklin as we prepare to talk about R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Note to leader: Show the following clips from the Supernanny Season 1 DVD: The Orm Family Episode DVD Disk 1: 1:22-5:45, 8:05-12:00, 13:15-16:26, 23:49-26:39, and 34:43-38:42. You may choose to show all the clips at once or you may decide to stop the DVD after each clip and discuss the answer to question one or pull out key points as you go.
1. How do the DVD clips we just viewed relate to respect?
2. When it comes to parenting, what is respect?
3. How do the quotes below relate to respect?
“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.” Benjamin Franklin
4. What specific things have you done at your home to encourage a respect?
We want to teach our kids to be respectful and to be deserving of respect. Our kids look to us as examples. Here are some questions that challenge we as parents to set the right tone.
To teach your kids about respect, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I say “please,” “thank you” and excuse me” to my children?
- Do I allow my children to express their negative feelings?
- Do I compliment and praise my children?
- Do I show respect when disciplining my children?
- Do I use unnecessary or unkind remarks when speaking to my kids?
- Do I listen attentively to my children?
- Do I discipline my children in the presence of others?
- Do I apologize to my children when I fail?
Taken from: http://www.christianitytoday.com/cpt/2000/002/3.30.html
5. The Bible provides interesting insights into many areas of our lives. How do the verses below relate to respect?
12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
6. List one or two things that you will do differently or that you will try as a result of our discussion on respect.
Take Home Activity: Part of respect is thinking of others before we think of ourselves. Take time as a family to read the story of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17). Now gather your family in a circle with a basin of soapy water, a washcloth, and a towel. Take turns washing each other’s feet. Start by washing the person’s feet on your left. When you’re done, have that person wash the person’s feet on their left and so on.
After everyone is finished, go around the circle and affirm each other. In other words, take time to tell each person in the circle what you appreciate about them. Have each person in the family talk about every other person in the circle.
Talk about how it felt to have your feet washed and to wash someone else’s feet. Talk about how it felt to show appreciation for others and to receive appreciation from others. Finally, ask everyone how these actions show respect for each other. Come to next week’s group prepared to share about your foot washing and affirmation time.
Note to leader: If time and resources permit, pick up towels or bars of soap to give out to each parent or couple to use for this activity.
Next week’s topic: TEAMWORK
Looking Ahead: Week 4 – Establishing Appropriate Boundaries, Week 5 – Handling Sibling Differences, Week 6 – Purpose for Discipline, Week 7 – Methods of Discipline, Week 8 – Introducing Your Kids to Christ